Party Poison
by ProfessionalAshes0fRoses
Summary: Kurt gets a little too drunk and spills a previously well kept secret. Now he must suffer the consequences of keeping things from his boyfriend.
1. Chapter 1

**Party Poison**

 **A/N: This is an alternate universe where Klaine met in college. Also Kurt is younger than Blaine. I know that's not cannon but it makes more sense to me for this drabble.**

 **So yeah, thought I'd try my hand in Klaine. Enjoy!**

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When Kurt met Blaine, he had no idea what he was getting himself into. He should have known those pretty hazel eyes would hold nothing but trouble, but even if he knew, he wouldn't have been able to help himself. Blaine was the perfect cliché he told himself he'd never fall for, but he was so stunningly beautiful in ways Kurt could never put into words. He was wrapped around Blaine's finger from the start, and when he found out his worst fear, he was already in too deep.

It was the most dramatic of all ironies. Of course the universe would curse him with this beautiful man. It was never simple. Love in itself was a complicated thing, but this was the thing that complicated it all. Kurt had one fear that over ruled all other fears, a fear he'd never been able to shake no matter how hard he tried. The dentist. That was something he'd always hated with a passion and feared to his core. Of course the universe would do this to him, the universe cursed him with the most perfect dental student boyfriend.

Kurt was carful though, Blaine was harmless anyway. He was only a few months into his first year when they met, so he couldn't do anything. However, their relationship bloomed and before Kurt knew it, Blaine was in clinic and he wanted Kurt to be his patient. Kurt, being the brilliant actor that he was, kept his calm and came up with a reasonable excuse. Blaine never suspected a thing, because Kurt was just that good. His reasonable excuses and carefully thought out plans never failed, he was too carful. Even when Blaine graduated and had his own office, Kurt found ways to escape being under his boyfriend's care. Blaine would never find out his secret.

Except, Kurt wasn't exactly on guard tonight. It was late, they were at a party, and he'd drank too much. He usually didn't get this drunk, but one thing led to another and now he was completely wasted. Blaine, being the responsible and loving boyfriend he was, let Kurt let lose and drink too much. He was keeping a close eye on his drunken boyfriend to make sure he didn't do anything too crazy, and everything was good.

At first drinking the alcohol just felt like a warm feeling traveling down his throat and into his stomach. Then as he drank more his entire body felt fuzzy. Tonight he didn't stop there though, and tested his limits. He drank more until walking got hard and his vision was blurry. So now here he was, stumbling around like baby giraffe.

"Kurt, baby. I think you need to sit down for a minute," Blaine suggested, taking Kurt by the shoulders and leading him to a sofa.

"Blaine," Kurt whined. "This is my favorite song."

"I know, but the way you were flailing around I was worried you'd fall over. Just sit here and I'll let you up in a few minutes. I don't want you to fall and break your face or something," Blaine coaxed, rubbing his drunk boyfriend's shoulders.

"If I broke my face that would be sad," Kurt said to Blaine, resting his head on his shoulder. "Don't let me break my face."

Blaine laughed lightly. "I won't let you break your face, Kurt. Though, that would mean I'd finally get to see what you're hiding in there," he teased.

Kurt's mood suddenly changed and he looked like he was sad. "You can't ever see," he said sadly. "Blaine don't say that! You can't see!"

Blaine looked shocked at the outburst. "Kurt, calm down. It was a joke. I'm not. Why are you so upset?"

Kurt shook his head. "Cause you'd make me get it fixed."

"Kurt, get what fixed? What do you mean? Are we still talking about the hypothetical scenario where you break your face?"

"Hurts," Kurt mumbled.

"Kurt, what hurts?"

Kurt shook his head in a frightened manner. "No."

Blaine shook his head now. "Kurt, what does 'no' mean? That isn't an answer. Does your mouth hurt, baby?"

"Only sometimes," Kurt assured.

Blaine cocked a brow at his drunk boyfriend, this information being news to him. "Kurt, why didn't you tell me that you're in pain? I thought you went to someone else for that, wouldn't they have fixed it?"

Kurt was unfocused again. He looked to Blaine with blurry vision. "Huh?"

"Kurt, your tooth hurts?" Kurt nodded his head, as if that was obvious. "Why does your tooth hurt?" Blaine asked.

"Donno. I'm not qualified to answer that."

"Kurt, have you been seeing a dentist regularly?" Kurt shook his head. Blaine sighed, not yet sure what to do with this newfound information. "Kurt, I think you've had enough to drink for tonight. Let's go home."

Kurt let out a whine. "Nooooo, I'm having fun."

"I've got some good wine at home, you can have some of that if you really want it. Please baby, I just want to take you home?" Blaine asked with puppy dog eyes.

Kurt shrugged. "Okay I guess."

Blaine took that as a yes and helped Kurt stand up, saying goodbye to Nick and Jeff and thanking them for the invitation.

"Not to be a party pooper, but we need to talk, you know?" Blaine prompted, helping Kurt buckle into the passenger seat.

"Talk about what?" Kurt asked, sipping on something in a red cup, he didn't even remember what it was anymore.

Blaine climbed into the driver's seat and turned on the car. "About how you've been lying to me about seeing a dentist, Kurt. That's not acceptable. Not to mention that you've said you're in pain. Why haven't you told me about this?"

Kurt looked to Blaine, he was unfocused and still really drunk. "Don't be such a party pooper! Why are you mad at me? I didn't want you to know, duh!"

"Kurt, you're shouting."

"Really? I sound just fine to me."

Blaine rolled his eyes as he drove home. "You're going to let me look when we get home, you realize this, right Kurt?"

"Whaaaat? Why? Wait, look at what?" Kurt asked, confused again.

"You're letting me look at your mouth that hasn't been attended to recently, apparently. I can't believe you got away with that. Kurt, are you scared of me?"

"I'm scared of dentists," Kurt said with a shrug.

"Well yeah, I see that. How long has it been since you've seen one?" Blaine asked calmly, noticing that Kurt reacted to that better.

"I can't even math right now," Kurt said, holding out fingers and trying to count. It didn't work so he gave up. "Probably like 30 years ago."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Kurt, you aren't even that old," he reminded. "If you have to think about it that much then it's been too long. Do you remember around a time? College? High school? Middle school? God, I hope it hasn't been that long."

Kurt thought for a second. "High school. I think around sophomore year."

"Okay, 7 years ago. Could be worse. I think it's pretty safe to say you're overdue. Don't you think?"

"That's not that long. I could beat that record."

"Well, unfortunately, now your loving boyfriend knows and that isn't an option," Blaine countered. "Kurt, does your tooth hurt really bad?" he questioned, opting to get as much information as possible before Kurt was sober again.

"Yeah," Kurt admitted. "Sometimes I really want to tell you because it gets really bad, but then I get scared and talk myself out of it."

Blaine frowned at Kurt's confession. "Why do you talk yourself out of it? What are you so scared of?"

"I can't put it into words right. I just am. It's a strong fear I have. I'm really afraid to get it fixed, and I feel like it would be too hard to deal with. I don't want you to know either, the idea of you knowing is so scary because I know you love me too much to let me be in pain. You wouldn't let me put myself through this." Kurt didn't have much of a filter right now, so he was telling Blaine everything he'd been wanting to tell him.

"I don't want you to worry about that, okay? I love you very much and when the time comes I will help you get through this. You know getting your tooth fixed wouldn't hurt, right?"

Kurt was starting to grow distressed now. "I can't do it. It's too scary. I can't Imagine it happening. Isn't even a possibility."

"I know you'll be able to do it, Kurt," Blaine said gently.

"I'm too scared, Blaine. You don't understand. I've put so much effort into avoiding this. I've put way too much work into making sure you don't find out," Kurt slurred, but now he was crying. "And now you know and you're gonna make me do this and I can't," he sobbed.

Blaine glanced at Kurt and he drove. "Don't cry Kurt, it's okay. Don't worry about it, please. This isn't worth crying about."

"It is though. I have every right to cry about this. It's driving me crazy." Kurt wasn't crying small tears, he was crying pools of tears. It was ugly crying with snot everywhere. He was in hysterics. "It hurts so bad and sometimes it makes my head hurt too and I just wanna die. It's maddening, Blaine. I would die if it wasn't for strong ibuprofen. My liver is probably already failing, I'm gonna die. This is gonna kill me," he sobbed.

"Oh my god, Kurt. You aren't going to die. Your liver isn't failing. Please calm down, you're snotting everywhere." Blaine would have been more gentle with his approach if not for the fact Kurt's crying face was borderline hilarious. It was hard to take him seriously, and this was mostly just drunken hysterics anyway.

"And now I'm getting snot everywhere. I'm so gross, how do you even love me? My nose is leaking!" Kurt sobbed.

Blaine couldn't help but laugh at that one.

"Now you're laughing at me. You don't even love me," Kurt continued hysterically.

"Kurt, of course I love you. You're drunk, baby. Calm down."

Kurt sniffled sadly. "My nose is producing so much snot that I can't even breathe out of it."

"Then breathe out of your mouth."

"Oh yeah," Kurt countered. He went back to sipping on the cup of whatever was in the cup casually as if the previous breakdown didn't happen.

"Kurt, why are you still drinking that? You should probably stop that before you get sick."

"I'm fine."

"You really aren't. Please stop drinking that. Kurt, give it to me." Blaine held his hand out for the cup.

"No!" Kurt said childishly. He then quickly finished off the cup.

"Did you just...? God Kurt," Blaine mumbled in defeat.

"Blaine, I don't feel good."

"Kurt, if you're going to get sick please don't do it in the car. Roll down the window and puke outside," Blaine said quickly.

It didn't work out as planned and Kurt puked on the window while trying to role it down.

"Of course in my car. Why not my car?" Blaine spoke to himself in a monotone. He gave Kurt a side glance. "Yep. Those are whole noodles. You puked up whole noodles. In my car. You've grossed me out, which is impressive. Didn't think you could do that but here we are."

"I got sick," Kurt mumbled.

"Yes Kurt, I know."

When they got home Blaine cleaned up his car and his boyfriend. He also made Kurt brush his teeth even though given the acids involved in puking meant he should have made him wait longer.

"Kurt, you're still really drunk so I need you to lay here. I'll be right back," Blaine directed, helping Kurt lay down in their bed. "Don't puke again."

"Whatcha doing Blaine-y?" Kurt asked with a slur in his voice. He was laying on their bed and looking at the ceiling. On the way back in his mind got fuzzy again.

"Like I said, I'll be right back. Stay here Kurt." Blaine grabbed a case among a few other things and trailed back into their bedroom. He climbed onto their bed and pulled Kurt into his lap.

"Hum?" Kurt questioned. He looked up at Blaine and smiled cutely. "Hi."

Blaine smiled. "Hi cutie." He pulled on gloves and put on his loupes. They were the fancy kind with a light built in. He silently wondered how Kurt was going to react to this. Though, he seemed to just be really tired at this point. "Kurt, baby, are you tired?"

Kurt made a hum and tried to roll over, apparently he wanted to go to sleep.

"Nope, this is the best time to do this and probably the only time you aren't going to fight me about it," Blaine said, grabbing a few things that he had placed on the nightstand. He doubted Kurt could keep up with what was happening at this point. "Kurt, open your mouth for me."

Even in his drunken state, Kurt didn't like that idea and tried to move away. "Wanna sleep," he mumbled. "Why do you want me to open my mouth?"

"Nope, Kurt. You can close your eyes if you want to, but I need you to do this. Don't worry about it, just open your mouth please," he coaxed, moving Kurt's head back into place. Kurt was falling asleep and wasn't paying attention anymore. Blaine sighed, realizing that Kurt wasn't going to obey. So he took matters into his own hands and helped Kurt open his mouth. "You're going to be so angry when you find out I did this," Blaine whispered to his now sleeping boyfriend. It appeared he'd dozed off for the time being. Blaine went in with a mirror and explorer and started looking around, trying to see if there was something that would be causing Kurt pain.

As soon as he started looking, a certain area caught his attention. Number 3 was broken, a rather large chunk was missing, and it looked like it was really painful. Blaine silently wondered how Kurt hid this from him because it looked like it was ready to fall into pieces. It would make sense that this is what Kurt was referring to. He continued on with the exam and found a cavity on number 2, probably thanks to the problem on the tooth in front of it. It looked like Kurt wasn't able to properly clean this area, it made sense with the broken tooth and all. There was a filling on the opposite side that looked shitty and probably needed to be replaced, but that was all he saw for now.

He was curious about to how much number 3 was hurting Kurt, so he gently scratched at it to see if he got a reaction out of Kurt.

Kurt responded with a flinch and a soft whimper. "Ooooop it," he whined. Kurt then turned his head away from Blaine and rolled over.

"Okay, hide away from me now young nymph. We have something to discuss when you wake up, that's for sure." Blaine put his tools away and helped Kurt get ready for bed, helping him change out of his clothes and such. They fell asleep together and Kurt woke up the next day with a really bad headache. He rolled over away from the sun that was shining through the window with a whine.

"Mmmm, Blaine. I feel like I'm dying," Kurt muttered, holding his head.

Blaine opened his eyes to look at Kurt and had to hold back a soft chuckle. "You drank so much last night. This is the universe punishing you," Blaine teased.

"Ugh, I don't remember anything. I think the last thing I remember was nearly falling over trying to dance to a song. Everything is super fuzzy from there." Kurt now took to burying his face into a pillow. "I had some really weird dreams too," Kurt added.

Blaine hummed. "What'd you dream about?"

Kurt shook his head. "Weird stuff. Don't worry about it," he said quickly.

Blaine smirked to himself. "Okay Kurt, don't tell me. I'll get you some water and pain relievers. If you puke please don't do it on the bed." Blaine got out of bed and scooted a trash can over to Kurt incase he got sick.

Kurt laid there and silently tried to put together what happened last night. He couldn't figure out what was real and what wasn't real though. He got a sick feeling when he remembered, what must have been, a dream from last night. He briefly remembered Blaine scratching at his bad tooth with a metal hook thing. He shook his head with a flinch, settling with himself that there was no way that actually happened. He'd had weird dreams like that before, so that was a strong possibility. No way it happened. His thoughts were cut off by Blaine walking back in with Advil and a bottle of water. Kurt thanked him and took the medicine.

"I can't believe you drank that much. You must be feeling terrible," Blaine commented, crawling back into bed with Kurt.

"I'm pretty sure this is what dying feels like. I will never get that drunk again," Kurt groaned. Currently he had a mind-shattering headache and his tooth was throbbing. Usually his tooth didn't hurt this bad, but today was one of the bad days where it was making him feel miserable. That was, on top of the hangover that was already making him feel super shitty.

Blaine sat there silently, wondering how he was going to bring up what happened last night to Kurt. It needed to be addressed, but now might have not been the best time to bring it up. So he decided that he wouldn't. He didn't bring it up until a convenient moment arose later the following week.

The two were both in the bathroom. Blaine got out of the shower to find Kurt brushing his teeth. Even though they lived together, Kurt was generally secretive about doing this. He was good at avoiding doing it in front of Blaine, except today Blaine finished his shower faster than expected and the two actions overlapped. Kurt felt uncomfortable trying to finish brushing his teeth with Blaine approaching, and his acting skills were failing him. It was too hard to hide how uncomfortable he felt.

Blaine generally wouldn't have overthought Kurt's clear unease with the situation and would have given him his privacy, he wasn't the type to overlook and patronize. He liked to give Kurt his space, but this time he couldn't resist, knowing what exactly was going on in there. So he walked up behind Kurt and spoke. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" Blaine asked innocently.

Kurt turned red and quickly finished brushing his teeth to get out of this situation. "No, it's just hot in here. I just had a shower and I'm getting all sweaty again," Kurt spoke nonchalantly.

Blaine hummed, Kurt sounded convincing enough. He would have believed him if he didn't know better. "Well that was hardly two minutes, Kurt. Good dental hygiene is important, you shouldn't rush brushing your teeth."

Kurt was trying desperately to hide how uncomfortable this conversation was making him feel. "I usually don't, I was just getting hot in there," Kurt argued. "I am not your child; it isn't your place to lecture me. I suggest you treat me like your boyfriend and not your child."

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you're getting mean because you're uncomfortable talking about this," Blaine continued calmly. "Kurt, I know you use anger as a defense mechanism. Why don't you just admit that you're uncomfortable talking about this instead of getting snappy at me when I've done nothing wrong?"

"Blaine!" Kurt shouted. "Drop it," he warned dangerously. He was feeling scared and uncomfortable, and anger was just how he was currently coping with the situation.

"No," Blaine said, still keeping a calm and steady voice. "I know about it, Kurt."

"What the hell are you talking about? Blaine, get off of my ass," Kurt fumed.

"Kurt, you know exactly what I'm talking about," Blaine spoke while he got dressed. "Friday night when you were drunk off your ass, you told me."

Kurt felt his chest tighten and his body grew weak. Blaine couldn't know. He was starting to panic on the inside. "I don't know what the hell you think I told you," Kurt retorted.

Blaine gave Kurt a pointed look. "Oh okay, my mistake. So you don't have a broken tooth right there, right? I made that up?" he said, pointing to his right cheek.

Kurt's face burned red and he was absolutely terrified. However, the extreme surge of emotion came out in a huge wave of anger. "Fuck you!" he snapped. "You had no right Blaine Anderson, no fucking right! That was a total invasion of privacy!" Kurt seethed. He was furious with Blaine and he couldn't stand to be in the room with him for another second. He made a move to walk out but Blaine grabbed his hand.

"Baby, please don't go. Let's talk about this."

"Do not touch me," Kurt growled. He yanked his hand away and glared daggers at Blaine. "I can't believe you'd did that. I hate you. I don't even want to look at you right now." He knew he was being dramatic and he instantly regretted saying that to Blaine.

"Hell Kurt, you're acting like I just told you I cheated. You need to calm down." Blaine still kept a calm voice, refusing to raise his voice and add fuel to the fire.

"This is a big deal to me. You don't understand, you couldn't possibly comprehend how I feel right now. I have every right to be angry at you." Kurt wasn't yelling anymore but he wasn't anywhere near calm.

"Then help me understand," Blaine said gently.

Kurt sighed, but turned back around and sat on the bed to look at Blaine. "It's like that feeling you get when you miss a step or when you feel like you're going to fall off a chair. You know that moment where your heart lurches in your chest? It feels like that, except it doesn't go away after a second. It's a constant state of anxiety that won't go away."

Blaine nodded in understanding. "Kurt, I'm really sorry that you're scared, but I can help you through this. I can't promise you won't feel a little scared, but I can promise that you aren't alone in facing this."

"Just because I'm admitting to you that I'm scared doesn't mean I'm agreeing to let this happen. Blaine, this happening isn't a possibility," Kurt said stubbornly.

"This not happening isn't a possibility. I love you too much to let you hurt yourself like this; all because you're scared. Fear isn't allowed to control you like this. You can't run away from your problems."

"But that's all I know how to do," Kurt said in a small voice.

"I know baby, but you can't run forever. Everything catches up with you eventually, and in your case that means all of your teeth fall out. Now, you're cute and all but I'd say no teeth is a deal breaker," Blaine replied seriously.

Kurt gave him an incredulous look. "Blaine! That won't happen. Stop," he squeaked.

"It will if you choose to never face this. I've seen it happen. You will have to face this eventually, so why not now? I mean, I suppose we can give this 20 more years or so. Getting dentures isn't that bad. Though, for that I'd have to take out all your teeth. Then if you want the type that stay in I have to drill these holes into your jaw bone and screw them-" Kurt cut him off.

"Blaine, shut up or I will puke on you," he threatened.

"Come on Kurt, just admit to yourself that this is unavoidable."

"I know it is! I'm just not going to deal with it now. I can face this later," Kurt excused lamely.

"Nope," Blaine said sternly. "Waiting is just going to scare you more, you know that. Has your fear gotten any better in this time you've waited? I'd say not. Kurt, I need you to trust me."

Kurt looked at Blaine uneasily, trying to anticipate his next move. "I don't," he said honestly.

"Obviously," Blaine mumbled. "Kurt, you can't keep running away from this," he began to lecture again.

Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes like he was about to say something important. Blaine waited intently, waiting for Kurt to say something. Then within a second's notice Kurt bolted the other way with a hurried, "watch me!" 

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**A/N: Do you like it so far? Shall I continue? Let me know in a review please :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Party Poison**

 **A\N: Here's the next part for all of you lovely people. Thank you for all your kind reviews, follows, and favorites.**

 **Also, a huge thanks to the amazing cuteasklaine0216 who wrote a good portion of Blaine and helped get this chapter moving. She's incredible and made this chapter way more interesting. She wrote a similar one shot to what I'm writing here and it's amazing. I'll leave the link to it at the bottom if you want to check it out. Anyway, on with the story!**

 **Disclaimer: There are a lot of referances to things in here like Little Shop of Horrors and Harry Potter, and probably some other stuff I forgot about, so yeah please don't sue me. I own nothing that you might recognize from another thing. I also don't own Kurt or Blaine but if you're reading this then that's probably a given)**

 **Also Kurt swears a lot so if you're uncomfortable with swearing you probably shouldn't be reading this. That means you little 10 year olds, you best get outta here little homeslices.**

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 _Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes like he was about to say something important. Blaine waited intently, waiting for Kurt to say something. Then within a second's notice Kurt bolted the other way with a hurried, "watch me!"_

Blaine's face fell as Kurt bolted from the room. He stood there for a second, not quite sure if going after Kurt was the best idea. He decided that he wasn't going to let the conversation end there. Kurt was upset and he wanted to make him feel better.

"Kurt baby, I'm sorry. I'm turning off doctor mode. Please don't run. We don't have to talk about this right now, just please don't isolate yourself. I'm still your boyfriend and if you're upset I want to be there for you," Blaine spoke gently as he walked into the living room. Kurt wasn't there. He poked his head outside and saw Kurt sitting in his car. He walked out to Kurt's car. "Kurt," he tested

"Leave me alone."

"Baby, you don't have to hide in your car. Come back inside please. I'm not going to force you to do anything. We don't have to talk about it," Blaine said as sweetly as possible.

"Go away Blaine."

"Kurt, I will leave you alone if you come back inside. There's just no point in staying in your car. Please," Blaine continued.

Kurt looked to Blaine and studied his face for a moment before turning off the car and getting out.

"I'm only coming back inside so I can get ready for work. This doesn't mean I'm not still pissed at you," Kurt warned as they walked back inside.

"You're allowed to be pissed at me. Go ahead, let it all out and yell at me if it'll make you feel better. Tell me why you're angry."

"Blaine," Kurt sighed. "I don't know how to feel right now. I'm mad and I'm hurt. You can't just expect me to be okay with this. You took advantage of me when I was drunk. That was wrong. I don't even wanna think about what you actually did. I thought that was a dream you dick," he said frustratedly.

"I'll admit that you're probably right there. I probably should have waited and asked your permission. What do you remember though? I'll clear things up if you want."

Kurt shook his head. "No, I don't want to remember. Thinking about this is making me really uncomfortable. I can't believe you- ugh! Blaine, what the fuck? Did you really do that though? I really thought I made that up. Just fucking poke at it? Great idea! Doesn't common sense tell you that would hurt me? What was the point in that?"

"Okay, you're right there. In my defense I wasn't trying to hurt you, I just wanted to see how sensitive it was. I was also looking at a few other things. I'll spare you the details, I don't want to freak you out. I guess that was kind of mean now that I think about it. I wasn't trying to hurt you baby, but I wouldn't have done it if I would have known it would freak you out. I'm sorry. That won't happen again, okay?" Blaine apologized.

"Damn right it won't happen again. Nothing like that will ever happen again. You're not going anywhere near me with any of that shit. I don't trust you. Trust is earned and so far I have no reason to trust you." Kurt was red and flustered again. This entire conversation wasn't exactly the easiest to have.

"I'm really sorry, Kurt. What will it take to make you trust me? How can I earn it? Let me prove to you that you can trust me," Blaine tried.

"You can't!" Kurt snapped. "I'm not talking about this anymore."

Blaine was starting to get frustrated at Kurt's total unwillingness. "Kurt, I love you with everything in me and I want to help you. That can't happen if you don't try though. You can't pretend that you're a saint in this situation. You lied to me about this whole thing for years, years Kurt. I trusted that you were telling me the truth about making appointments and such. I'm hurt about that. You never even gave me the chance to help."

Kurt's face soften a bit at that. He thought for a moment before speaking. "I'm sorry that I lied to you," he apologized sincerely. "Just try to understand why I did. I was scared, I still am scared. It's just... Blaine, I wanted to tell you. I really did. I know I'm coming off as really angry right now, but there is a part of me deep down that wanted you to know. Honestly I'm hurt that you never noticed. We live together Blaine, and you never noticed how much pain I've been in," towards the end his voice got small and now he was fighting back tears. "I've been in pain for at least the last year and you never batted an eye. How did you not see it? Out of all the sleepless nights and all the bad dreams you never stopped to think that maybe something was wrong? Blaine..." he trailed off and now he was crying.

Blaine saw Kurt's mood shift into sadness and he looked hurt. It was like something clicked in Blaine's brain and he finally understood. He rushed over to Kurt and pulled him into the tightest hug he could and held him. "I am so sorry. I should have seen it, Kurt. I should have noticed. It's my fault. I can't blame you for all this. You were scared and hurting, I don't blame you for not coming to me. It's my responsibility as your boyfriend to make sure that you're okay and I clearly haven't done that. This is my fault." He walked Kurt over to the sofa and he held him and let him cry.

Kurt didn't say anything but did accept Blaine's comfort.

"You aren't alone anymore. You don't have to keep it all to yourself. I'm here now and I promise that everything is going to be okay. I'm going to take care of you," Blaine coaxed. He ran his hand through Kurt's hair while he cried and got it all out of his system. They sat there for a few minutes and after a while Kurt stopped crying and felt better. Blaine helped him sit up and looked him in the eyes.

"I love you so much baby. I'm so sorry about all of this. I need to go to work though. I take it there's no way you'd come with me?" Blaine asked.

Kurt gave Blaine a 'no shit' look at the question. "After all that you're really going to ask me that?"

Blaine shrugged. "It was worth a shot. I didn't think you'd give in that easily." He leaned in and kissed Kurt's sweetly on the forehead. "I love you. I'll see you when I get home. Have a good day at work."

"I love you too," Kurt said gently. Blaine left for work and as soon as he was gone Kurt rushed into the bathroom. He got an Ibuprofen out of the medicine cabinet and took it. He had them hiding in a vitamin bottle so Blaine didn't know. They were 800mg so they were strong enough to knock out the toothache he was having right now. Today it was bad for some reason, so not taking something for it wasn't even an option. He then finished getting ready for work and was out the door right behind Blaine.

On the way home from work Blaine got an idea that would help make Kurt's decision to get help a little easier. So when he got home he was pleased to see that Kurt wasn't home yet. He searched around for a little bit in attempts to find Kurt's stash of pain relievers. It didn't take him long to find them hiding in a vitamin bottle in the bathroom. He rolled his eyes because these didn't resemble any type of vitamin. He knew exactly what they were. After counting how many were in the bottle, he replaced them with sugar pills that looked almost identical. He almost felt bad for doing this, but Kurt was stubborn and he needed to recognize that this was a problem.

Over the course of the next week Kurt noticed that the pain progressively got worse. It was so bad now that his strong pain relievers were doing absolutely nothing to dull the pain. It was driving him crazy and he was getting to the point where he couldn't focus on anything. He wasn't sleeping enough either. The only thing keeping him alive was coffee; which was absolute hell to try to drink. This was getting to be insane. He was sitting on the couch mashing his fist into his cheek at the moment.

"I hate my life," he spoke to himself. "Okay, first of all you dick, why are you doing this? Can't you just chill the fuck out, or die? I don't care. Just stop doing what you're doing because it's not amusing in the slightest," he spoke to his tooth. It didn't listen because it still hurt. Kurt sighed and flipped around on the sofa so he was in a different position. "No, still gonna be an asshole? I figured. In retrospect I probably deserve this. You're probably mad at me for the mistreatment. I'm really sorry about that by the way. Why don't we just put our differences aside and forgive each other? You forgive me for the foul treatment, and I forgive you for being a COCK-GOBBLING THUNDERCUNT!" he nearly shouted. He shifted his position again. "Fucking hell, I'm losing my mind. I'm talking to my tooth. I've officially lost my shit," he spoke to himself. "If anyone overheard this conversation I might actually be institutionalized. Gonna get locked up in the fucking looney bin," he continued. "They're coming to take me away ha ha, they're coming to take me away ho ho. He he, ha ha, to the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time," he singsonged. "Okay, that was probably offensive. I'm a bad person. I shouldn't make jokes about that, stop it Kurt. That's rude." He then heard the door start to unlock and figured now was a good time to stop talking to himself. He got into a reasonable position and turned up the TV volume so maybe he'd resemble a normal person and not a guy that was low key losing his mind.

"Kurt, are you home?" Blaine called.

"Kurt is home. Kurt is right here. Hello," Kurt greeted.

Blaine smiled gently and walked into the living room. "Hey babe. How are you?"

"I'm great! I'm in a really good mood actually. I feel awesome," Kurt said quickly.

"Uhhh... I'm glad you're in a good mood, but you're acting a little odd. Are you okay?" Blaine asked in concern.

"Yep! I had like 4 cups of coffee. I feel great!" Kurt announced.

Blaine walked over to Kurt and looked him over. He took his hand gently and observed the trembling. "You're shaking, Kurt. No more coffee. Heart attacks aren't cool."

"I'm not going to have a heart attack. I gotta cope for the lack of sleep somehow," Kurt countered.

Blaine cocked a brow. "You haven't been sleeping? Why not?"

Kurt felt his face pale at the realization of the dilemma he'd just plunged himself into. "I've been hallucinating bugs when I try to fall asleep. Like I'll try to sleep and then I'll freak out because I think I see a spider. I'm probably losing my mind," he excused.

"Yeah, but if it was just bugs then eventually your body would cave and your brain would be too tired to think about it. Now if it's pain on the other hand, that can nag you for days, weeks even. Pain could keep you awake and never stop. Something you want to talk about perhaps?"

Kurt shifted uncomfortably, his giddy mood from earlier now melting into imposing panic. He should have thought of a better excuse. "No no, it's the imaginary bugs. They're total assholes. I'll be fine. I actually think I might go lay down... I'm kinda tired," he rushed out, getting off the sofa.

"Do you need a shoe to take with you?" Blaine called over his shoulder with a snicker. He followed Kurt into the bedroom and sat in the bed.

"Sure, do you have an imaginary shoe to kill the imaginary bugs with?" he mumbled, unamused, crawling into bed and hiding under the comforter so Blaine couldn't see how red his face was turning.

"I have no imaginary shoes. Only imaginary socks for my sock puppets." Blaine held up his hand in a sock puppet form and started talking to Kurt in a fake voice. "Blaine thinks you guys should talk about what's bothering you Kurt. He thinks it'll help. He also thinks you're adorable all snuggled up like that," he chuckled.

Kurt rolled his eyes fondly. "Meh, I'll give it a 7 out of 10. Your sock puppet performance is lacking the needed enthusiasm." Kurt rolled over so he was facing Blaine, but he was still hiding under the covers. "Nothing's bothering me. I'm fine. See? Just tired."

Blaine smiled gently at the huddled form under the blankets. "I think we both know that's not true, but you can keep pretending I don't know what's going on and I'll keep pretending I believe you." Blaine rubbed his hand on Kurt's shoulder through the blankets.

Kurt felt his breathing hitch a little and his chest got tight. "I am though," he said weakly, but his emotional walls were breaking at this point and every part of him wanted to go running to Blaine. He hid his face in the pillow now because his eyes were leaking and he was trying to hold it together.

"I believe you saying you're tired, but I don't believe the lack of sleep is because of dreams." Blaine crawled under the covers with Kurt and pulled him into a hug. "I'm here, I'm your boyfriend but I want you to tell me your worries so I can make you feel better with my words. My hope is to comfort you right now." Blaine pulled the covers away from Kurt to see his red rimmed eyes.

Kurt let out a pitiful whimper and snuggled into Blaine's hug. He was upset and close to tears, but Blaine made him feel safe and he needed that comfort. "My face hurts, but you already knew that. Obviously you've caught onto that by now," he admitted in a soft voice. "It doesn't matter that I'm telling you this because you can't do anything about it. I would rather deal with this than even consider the possibility of letting you... You know. It's not even possible. I can't even think about it. I can't go there because I panic, and I mean really panic. It doesn't feel nice and I don't want to feel like that. So I just have to deal with it." He hid his face away again like a frightened bunny. "I can't look at you right now because if I look at you I'm going to break down. If you want to keep talking then just hold me and be here. Your eyes make me want to trust you and I can't do that."

Blaine smirked at this little secret Kurt revealed and pointed Kurt's chin up with one slender finger so their eyes could meet. "It's good that you trust me, that makes me feel special; and I won't ask you the question you're afraid to say yes to, so you may look me in the eyes. Now I have some suggestions if you're willing to hear me out. You can take them or leave them, it's up to you. Are you going to listen?"

Kurt tried to avoid eye contact with Blaine by looking down. "Why won't you just let me hide? I'm embarrassed right now and I don't wanna look at you because I know I'll start crying," he whined. He ended up looking anyway and as soon as their eyes met the tears broke through. It was something about looking into Blaine's eyes that made Kurt question the internal conflict he was having with himself. It made him wonder why he was torturing himself with this total unwillingness. "I'll listen but that doesn't mean I'm going to agree to anything," he sniffled.

"There's my Kurt. Okay, I'm just offering, totally up to you, but the night you were drunk you told me everything openly and you weren't scared. You were just sad for lying to me all these years. So my offer is I have this drug, okay drug is a harsh word. I have this medicine that can make you very relaxed mentally. It will take away your fear and allow you to at least talk to me about all of this, if not let me help you. Would you be willing to try that for me? Just to talk," Blaine finished eagerly. He was hoping Kurt would take baby steps into this.

Kurt wasn't sure about what Blaine was offering, but when he looked into his eyes he saw sincerity. Still, he was stubborn and had his mind set on avoiding this. He looked away and shook his head. "No. I can't. I don't remember what happened that night and I really don't want to because I probably embarrassed the hell out of myself; but that wasn't me. This is me, and I'm saying no. I can't put myself in that situation because stuff could happen, and just- no."

"What could happen?" Blaine asked incredulously. "Why don't you trust me Kurt?"

"I don't wanna talk about it anymore," Kurt mumbled stubbornly. "Now go away and let me sleep."

Blaine set his jaw firmly. "No, you never want to talk about it. We're talking about it and we're doing it right now," he said firmly.

"God Blaine, there's no hidden reason. I wish there was because maybe some of the bullshit that's going on inside of my head would make sense. I'm just really scared. I don't know why or understand it. Or maybe it's a whole bunch of different reasons, I don't know. I can't just pinpoint exactly why and tell you, because believe me I've been looking for the answer. So do you want to know why? I don't trust you because of what your job is. In any other situation I would but I just can't trust you when you're that. So what's the worst that could happen?" Kurt took a second to gather himself so the next part didn't come out in a sob. "I don't fucking know and that's the worst part."

Blaine furrowed his brow in concern and looked at Kurt with a gleam of an idea in his eyes. "Okay... I understand to a point. What if instead of trying to drug you and force you into this, I take you on a tour of my office? You can see what everything does and how the process works. We won't do anything. You don't even have to sit down. I can show you diagrams and let you see my textbooks from college to explain how everything works too. It can be kind of like talking about where babies come from. Get rid of the air of mystery around this."

Kurt furrowed his brows to make a face that expressed his distaste for the situation. "Well clearly babies come from storks and anyone who works in your field comes from hell. Boom, mystery solved." Kurt clearly didn't want to take this conversation seriously.

Blaine frowned seriously at Kurt's blatant hatred for his people. "Okay be serious please."

"Ugh, okay. Jokes aside. I don't know if that's going to help... but if you promise that you're not going to do anything I feel uncomfortable with then I guess I can agree to that."

"Okay, I'm willing to just be a tour guide for now on your journey to a healthy smile. I'm sure eventually we can work our way to fixing this issue but how about tomorrow you come with me and I'll show you what's what?" Blaine suggested.

Kurt was feeling uncomfortable again and wanted to hide away. It was taking all of his willpower to continue on with this conversation. He ended up cringing at what Blaine said rather violently. "Oh god, out of all the ways you could have said that you had to say it like that. I don't know if I want to groan or cry. I can't stand the way you just said that. You're inferring I'm going to let you do shit eventually, and I never agreed to that. I don't even want to do this anymore because it's going to lead to letting you 'fix the problem' and that's not something I even want to consider right now. Or ever. I regret getting drunk that night so much. I worked really hard to avoid this situation."

"Hey, I get that you're kicking yourself for ruining your high score in the secrets from Blaine game, I personally have worked really hard to get where I am and force myself into these situations where I can help people." Blaine brushed his hand down Kurt's arm comfortingly. "Just come with me tomorrow and we can discuss any future plans later."

"I'm already kicking myself for agreeing to this, but I guess... If I don't die from sleep deprivation. Or worse... The Russian Sleep Experiment wasn't pretty."

"The Russian Sleep Experiment is one of the many reasons you really need to trust me and get this taken care of," Blaine explained.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes. It's a very plausible outcome of this situation. Now can I sleep? You got what you wanted out of me."

"You are free to sleep now," Blaine replied.

Kurt nodded his head to Blaine thankfully and emerged himself into a blanket cocoon and tried to find some much needed rest. Surprisingly he was able to find sleep. He slept for a really long time after that, and the next morning when Blaine was awake he didn't want to get up. Blaine was currently trying to get Kurt to get out of bed.

"I don't wanna get up. You're gonna make me go to the little shop of horrors with you and sing songs about shooting puppies and that's not okay," Kurt voiced sleepily.

Blaine chuckled at that. "No, no we're not going to sing about shooting puppies. Now bashing pussy cats in the head though... I'm just kidding Kurt. Get up and have some coffee with me. You'll need to at least stay awake for this presentation."

Kurt glared at Blaine in response. "I'm only getting up for the delicious coffee," he mumbled. He stumbled into the kitchen wearing an expression that closely resembled grumpy cat. "So what exactly did you have in mind for the day?" he asked unsurely, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"You mean besides coming with me to work?" Blaine asked over his cup of coffee as he leaned on the counter.

"Top of my list," Kurt remarked.

"I was going to let you see the tools and touch them so you can understand them and not be as afraid," Blaine continued. "I can show you diagrams of what we do to treat the teeth so you know what to expect, and that's about all I had planned. If you think it's not too scary I have a panoramic X-ray machine we can use and you'll get to see what your whole head looks like. It's really cool," he offered.

Kurt listened to Blaine explain what he wanted to do today as he tried to drink his coffee. It was frustrating because if he wasn't carful then it went in the wrong area and really hurt his bad tooth. That happened when Blaine was explaining everything and Kurt could hardly hold back the wince. He casually set down his cup and looked back over to Blaine. "In theory that doesn't sound too bad I guess," he mumbled. He was still unsure and didn't want to go, but would try to do this for Blaine. "I'm still scared. I feel like you're going to sneak attack me with something scary," he admitted. "How do I know that you aren't tricking me?"

Blaine ignored Kurt's clear discomfort while drinking his coffee. "Hmmm, how can we guarantee I'm not tricking you? Hmmmm..." he pondered for a moment. "I don't suppose you could just trust that your boyfriend loves you and would never betray your trust like that?"

Kurt studied Blaine's face for a second, looking for anything that could tell him not to trust him. However, either Blaine was being honest or he was just really good at lying. "You better not," Kurt remarked. "I guess I'll trust you until you give me a reason not to. I'll do this for you today, but you've gotta be patient with me. I can't control how I feel and I might freak out. I still don't know how I'm going to react when we get there," Kurt warned.

"I promise I won't. Now can you finish your coffee and brush your teeth? We have to go soon."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I am not a child Blaine Anderson. You don't have to tell me to brush my teeth, god. That's like me reminding you to put on pants before you leave the house," he ranted. He looked at his cup of coffee that was still mostly full. "I don't want my coffee anymore. It tastes funny today. I'm probably pregnant," he excused. "You want it? If not I'm just going to dump it out."

"I already had mine, and don't blame the coffee, you know it's your tooth bothering you. This coffee is Starbucks reserve," Blaine called out.

Kurt shot Blaine a bitch glare. "I know it's my stupid tooth, and I know that you know it's my stupid tooth, but couldn't you just go with it? Now I'm turning red. Why must you do this?" he mumbled. He put the coffee in the microwave because he couldn't bear to waste it and walked into the bathroom. He shut the door behind himself and did his morning routine. He finished a few minutes later but didn't want to come out, so he sat on the side of the bathtub and started scrolling through his Instagram feed.

Blaine rolled his eyes and took the coffee out of the microwave to dump in the sink once Kurt walked away. When his boyfriend took his sweet time coming out of the bathroom Blaine went to retrieve him. "Kuuuurt, come out of the bathroom. It's time to go on our field trip."

Kurt let out a whine when he heard Blaine at the door. "Nu uh, field trips are fun," he argued. He opened the door and stuck out his lower lip in a pout. "Blaine-y, why don't we just stay home and watch Netflix? That sounds more fun," Kurt suggested.

"If we stay home I'm still getting my case out of the car and searching the closet for my old textbooks. You might as well come with me so I can buy you lunch after." Blaine smirked at Kurt and gave him a devious wink.

Kurt frowned. "This probably isn't even gonna help. It's just gonna freak me out. This is pointless," he complained. "Let's just get this over with. I can't believe I'm agreeing to this. I feel like I'm walking into a death trap."

"A death trap would at least have a moat," Blaine mumbled as they walked to the car.

"Awe, it doesn't? That's disappointing. I was expecting some kind of medieval torture chamber with chains and torture devices. I mean, in a way it kind of is if you think about it," Kurt mused from the passenger seat.

"The definition of torture would imply that you were being held against your will. Now since you're not you have no right to complain." Blaine drove them to his office in light traffic and parked his car. His name could be seen on the building out front. "You ready to follow me inside? We're just going to look around for now."

The ride there was too short for Kurt's liking, and he found that his chest was already filling with anxiety. "I'm not ready yet," he squeaked nervously. "Let's just sit here for a minute. I- I didn't fight you on the way here so you have to let me sit here," he stuttered out. He buried his face in his hands. "It's gonna smell funny," he mumbled.

Blaine brought his arms around Kurt and held him close. "It's alright, you can take the time you need," he whispered. "You know we use Febreeze so it doesn't smell scary in there. It smells like a hotel lobby. It looks like one too. It's really nice."

Kurt smiled from under his hands. "This is like one of those Febreeze commercials," he commented. "Take a smell, what's it smell like? Oh? You think it smells like that thing you just said? Well it's not," he mocked. "That's a great idea. We should totally pitch it." He lifted his face from his hands and took a deep breath. "Okay, I think I feel okay now. I distracted myself with how hilarious I am."

Blaine cheered internally at Kurt's change in mood. "Great lets do this okay." He took Kurt's hand once they were out of the car and led him inside. "See the nice couches and dim lighting, and we got the carpet redone." He pushed Kurt in front of him and put his hands on his shoulders to guide him along. "Here's the fish tank too. They're fun to look at, but I find they also will follow your finger if you guide it along like this." Blaine took Kurt's hand and swiftly slide his finger across the tank as the little fish followed him. "Cute huh?"

Kurt let Blaine lead him inside even though he wasn't totally sure yet. When he first walked in his fear wasn't triggered like he figured it would be. The environment was nice and inviting and he found that he wasn't holding his breath. He could deal with this. "It looks really nice. Whoever put this together knows what's up," he commented. He smiled at the cute fish following his finger. He felt okay for now. "I'm impressed so far. This is nice. I imagined the atmosphere would feel different. It's so nice I'm almost forgetting where I am. I guess that's the point though, huh?"

"That is the point we try to go for here. Do you want to see the rest of the office? I promise the door won't lock once you walk through."

Kurt felt his heart skip a beat at the suggestion and the feeling in his chest told him that he was starting to panic. He closed his eyes for a second and pressed it down. "I guess so, but you have to hold my hand so I can squeeze it if I get scared."

Blaine held his hand out readily for Kurt to take. "That's a fair condition. Come on, I'll show you where the receptionist sits." Blaine walked them through the door to the back where his receptionist Marley sat. "Kurt this is Marley. She takes calls and files paperwork, and her job can be pretty boring which is why she gets to sit next to the coffee machine all day and guard it." Blaine gently shoved her chair aside to access the coffee and poured himself another cup. "I lied I want a second cup of coffee." He smiled at Marley and brought Kurt back to the hall.

Kurt took Blaine's hand when he held it out and that made him feel a little better. He was trying really hard to be normal and press down the panic for now. He smiled gently at the receptionist. "Hi, nice to meet you," he said in a shy voice. He would have said something sassy about how Blaine has a coffee addiction, but his brain was preoccupied. When they started to go down the hall Kurt froze and made Blaine stop. "B-Blaine I'm scared. I don't wanna go here." He gripped Blaine's hand tightly as his chest filled up with the panic he'd been trying to repress.

Blaine halted in his tracks and turned around to comfort Kurt. "Baby we're just going to my personal office where all the books and computers are. We're going to sit and drink water and talk about stuff and look at books okay? I'm not taking you to an exam room don't panic please."

Kurt squeezed his eyes tightly for a second and gathered himself. He felt stupid for starting to freak out now. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I trust you. I just assume the worst, I'm sorry," he said in a near whisper.

"Hey don't be sorry. You don't know what's going on and I'm here to explain everything okay?" Blaine gave Kurt a quick hug and took his hand again. He led him to his office where he shut the door and pulled up two chairs in front of his desk. "Come sit with me and we can talk."

Kurt accepted the hug from Blaine and took his hand again. He followed him into his private office and sat down. He still felt kind of sick and overwhelmed, but he trusted Blaine and was trying to convince himself that everything was going to be okay. "Okay, let's talk then. What's up?" he asked weakly.

"Well, first thing is first I guess. What scares you about this place? Let's go through it in chronological order. From when you first walk in all the way through. Give me some information here. Maybe I can change the way we do thing s to make it easier on you next time."

Kurt looked at Blaine warily for a second before he started speaking. "Um... Well I guess being here isn't that bad. I was expecting something totally different, so I guess you're doing something right so far. I mean, it doesn't smell weird so that's great. That's definitely panic inducing because certain smells are linked to memories I guess, and I relate the smell to negative memories and emotions. Panic, fear, other stuff. All the shitty feelings people generally try to avoid I suppose. Mostly panic though. I'm talking about the really scary kind. It's a feeling of being trapped inside your own body, like air has been taken from your lungs and you can't get it back. It's really scary to experience and definitely something that's worth trying to avoid," he explained. "That's what I was expecting, to feel that. I guess in a way I didn't want to come in because I was afraid of feeling that. So it really isn't anything you can do, or anything here. It's just like the way my brain is programmed or something... So I guess nothing has actually scared me yet besides myself," he continued uncomfortably. "That's all that's happened so far. If things progress any farther than this then I guess it's a different situation. It would change from the fear of feeling panic to fearing actual things that induce fear and panic. Well, in a way I guess it does go full circle back around to fear. In the end that's the scariest part. People in general wouldn't be scared of anything if fear didn't exist. Does that make sense? I'm scared of scary things because scary things are scary and being scared is scary. That's basically all I just said." He laughed at himself a little. "Humans are silly creatures. I'm a silly little human with silly fears. None of this is logical, yet it controls me. I'm getting in too deep. Next I'll start questioning my existence, oh gosh. What were we even talking about?"

"Okay, so it's first and foremost fear of yourself being triggered. That makes sense but we also need to know what triggers you," Blaine explained. "So the smells aren't a problem here, what would scare you if we were to go into the exam room. In theory what would you be afraid of in there?"

"Sorry, I'll have the existential crisis later. Okay, so in theory if we went into an exam room right now then I guess I'd be scared of... Uh... Probably everything. I don't know Blaine. It's what happens in there that's scary. It's all like a nightmare. Everything is there for a set reason... That's scary. The reasons are scary. It's basically all a whole bunch of triggers. They represent situations I don't want to be in and things I don't want to feel. I don't... I don't want to feel that. I can't talk about this in any more detail or I'm going to freak out. It's getting too hard to think about, I don't want to think about this anymore," Kurt tried to explain. His chest was feeling tight again and breathing was starting to get harder. He was trying to push it down like before but this time it was more difficult.

"Kurt baby, I love you but we need to get through this talk at least. We aren't doing anything else but talking is kind of a big deal, okay?" Blaine scooted closer and pulled Kurt's legs onto his lap. "So the tools are scary I take it, that's understandable. Is it also because you feel out of control, or is it the light, or that you can't see my whole face or what? You gotta talk me through this or I can't help you."

Kurt could feel his heart beating insanely fast and his breathing wasn't even, but he wasn't freaking out yet. He looked to Blaine with a defeated and exhausted expression. It was so hard to press down the panic that was trying desperately to escape but somehow he wasn't hyperventilating yet. Though it felt like the effort of keeping it in was making him weak. "Blaine, it's all of that. I start to feel sick when I think of being in the situation. I don't want to feel you looking around and scratching at my teeth. I don't like that I can't see what you're doing and you wouldn't even look like you because your face would be hidden behind that stupid mask. Your hands wouldn't feel like your hands, they'd feel like rubber gloves and they'd be holding scary tools that feel cold and unnatural. Why the hell would anybody be okay with that? I don't want to be in a position where you can see everything and I'd be too vulnerable and I can't sit up if I get scared," he choked out. "That didn't accomplish anything. Now I just feel like I'm going to puke because now I'm thinking about that happening and it's just reminding me of why I don't want it to happen," he continued. "Please don't make me tell you anything else Blaine, I feel like I'm going to faint or puke or maybe both but we need to stop talkng about this."

Blaine pulled Kurt on top his lap completely so they were both sitting in the same armchair. He wrapped his arms around Kurt protectively. "It did accomplish something. Now I know what bothers you and I know that won't work out well at all to do that." He stroked Kurt's hair and kissed his forehead. "We can go home now if you'd like but before we go, do you think you could be brave enough to try the panoramic X-rays? I don't have to do anything with your mouth, you just need to stand in one spot and be very still. Can we do that?"

Blaine helped drive away the anxiety Kurt was feeling. Something about the physical contact and being close to Blaine made him feel better. He still felt weak from the minor freak out but his breathing was slowing back down. "I don't know. Doesn't that mean you'd be able to see stuff?" he asked. "I don't think I like that idea," Kurt huffed. "That's like giving you permission to do stuff later and I don't like that."

"Well yes, but I've already seen stuff with my own eyes. There's really no sense in hiding from me." Blaine gave a devious smirk. "I can't make you do anything you know. Please just do this for me?" He pulled Kurt up with him off the chair and gave him a warm gentle smile. He tugged his arm slightly to get him walking down the hall again.

Kurt turned red at the reminder that Blaine had already seen things. "Ugh, Blaine," he whined when Blaine started tugging on his arm, but he didn't fight him. "This is stupid. I'm setting myself up for failure here. It doesn't matter though, I've already ruined my personal record by coming in here with you today."

Blaine frowned at Kurt's reprimand of himself. "Kurt don't say that, this isn't setting yourself up for failure. This is setting yourself up for success. We'll work on this together. For now just give me the information I need to help you from my end." He brought Kurt into the room and place him in the spot he needed to be. "Stand here and rest your chin on this part. Now don't move." Blaine stepped to the side to press the button and activate the machine.

"That was mostly a joke Blaine, but I do feel like I'm losing here. Either way I'm going to have to give in eventually and that sucks. I just need to get in touch with Madam Pomfrey, then I won't have to endure this," he mumbled. He did the things Blaine told him to do, but scowled while doing so. He felt stupid and defeated right now and was sulking.

Blaine smiled victoriously. He was pleased that he'd at least gotten the X-rays taken with Kurt being cooperative. "Okay we can leave now. I can look up the X-rays from my laptop when we get home and upload them to your chart."

Kurt quickly stepped out when he was set free. "But I don't want a chart," he grumbled. "Let's leave before I get sucked into anything else. You owe me lunch."

"Oh but you're getting one." Blaine spoke in the sweetest voice. "Let's be honest, would you ever see any dentist besides me ever?" He took Kurt's hand again and led him back to the car.

Kurt groaned. "Blaine, don't say the word. That's illegal," he whined. "And no probably not. I would have found a way to cure toothaches or something. The answer is probably out there and the government is hiding it from us. I bet teeth can heal," he argued.

"Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself. Hermione Granger is very wise in this sense. Also teeth don't heal baby, I'm sorry." Blaine drove away from the office leisurely and let Kurt pick their restaurant destination.

That one took Kurt a second because he couldn't think of anything clever to say, Blaine was probably right. "Okay smart ass, you and Hermione are probably right there," he admitted. "Just shut up before I start calling you He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. It's the cutest pet name, don't you think?" Kurt shot back with a shit eating grin.

* * *

 **A/N: What happens next? I don't know honestly, I'm just winging it. (That could be a pun if my name was still Wing0fAnAngel.) So I do have the next chapter started and a general idea, it will be up whenever I can transfer thoughts in my brain to words.**

 **I basically have no idea what I'm doing and I sometimes get help from friends who make it seem like I know what I'm doing. Thanks again cuteasklaine0216 for your amazing help! Go check out her Klaine one shot thingy thing here:**

 **(I was gonna leave the link but the website is being an ass wipe. It's called 'glee medical prompts' and the Klaine bit is the 5th and 6th chapter.)**

 **Anyway guys, thanks for reading! If you have anything you're dying to see in the next chapter than hit me up and I'll see what I can do to include it. I love hearing from you all, so it would be totally awesome if you dropped by a review telling me what you thought. Reviews make my lazy ass write faster because it's like "omg words about my words this is so cool."**


	3. Chapter 3

**Party Poison**

 **A/N: I'm sorry that this took so long. I've been bouncing between this and a few other chapters I've been working on for one of my other stories. Life also has a harsh tendency to get in the way, so there's that too. I'll spare you guys the gory details. On with the story.**

From there they went out to eat and the rest of the day was good. When they got home Kurt crawled into their bed and took a nap, somehow still tired despite sleeping for like 12 hours straight the previous night. It was probably the coffee deprivation.

When Kurt was sleeping Blaine decided to pull up the X-rays they'd taken at the office on his laptop. It was honestly a relief to even have them given how stubborn Kurt was. Now he could figure out what was actually going on. He took a look at number 3, the broken tooth that was his main concern. He frowned when he saw what happened. It definitely wasn't just broken anymore, there was decay all in it and it was deep. It appeared it hadn't reached the pulp quite yet though, but this was a hair away from needing a root canal. This needed to be taken care of soon, it had already been too long. Blaine sighed and ran a hand through his hair, silently contemplating how he was going to make Kurt do this. The other cavity on number 2 wasn't too bad. It wasn't tiny but it could have been worse. Then there was the filling on number 19. Nothing was visible on the X-Ray but he'd seen it and knew it needed to be replaced. That looked like everything, and in retrospect it could have been worse. He closed his laptop and crawled into bed with Kurt. He looked over his precious boyfriend who was cuddled in on himself, looking adorable. He had to help him before this got out of hand.

Later that afternoon Blaine felt he had to bring this up again even though Kurt wouldn't want to talk about it. They were having a romantic evening and cuddling on the sofa. They were watching something but Blaine wasn't even paying attention, he was too deep in thought about helping Kurt.

"Baby, we need to talk you know. I can't just pretend that I don't know what's going on anymore," Blaine started.

Kurt whined a little. "Blaine, please."

"No Kurt, just listen to me. This is serious," Blaine scolded lightly. He sat up and made Kurt look at him. Kurt tried to sheepishly look away but Blaine took Kurt's face in his hands. "Kurt, I know this makes you feel uncomfortable but I need you to listen. Look at me, okay? Are you going to listen?"

Kurt nodded shyly.

"I know your tooth is hurting you really badly, and I've seen the X-rays so I know what's going on. Kurt, baby. It's getting bad and needs to be taken care of soon. I know you don't want to hear this, but you're going to need a root canal if you let this wait any longer. That is a more serious procedure than just a filling and I don't want to have to do that if it can be avoided," he explained. He saw Kurt growing fidgety and pulled him into his lap. "Come here, it's okay," he coaxed. "I didn't know this was happening for a long time, I didn't take care of you like a good boyfriend should. Kurt, but now I know and I can't let it slide. It's my responsibility to make sure you get this taken care of. I need you to trust me and let me help you. Avoiding this is no longer an option, and it's getting to the point where I'm going to have to make you if you don't let it happen. This isn't a punishment Kurt, I'm trying to help you. Please let me help you."

Kurt snuggled into Blaine and sniffled. "Blaine I'm scared. Please don't make me," he cried.

"I don't want to make you, that's why I'm asking you to cooperate. I know you're scared hun, and I'll help you through it but you have to try. Please baby." Blaine rubbed Kurt's back soothingly while he spoke.

"No Blaine, I can't. I'm too scared," Kurt whined.

"Kurt Hummel, being scared isn't an excuse. You will lose your tooth if you don't let me help you. Do you want that?" Blaine said seriously.

Kurt started crying again. "Blaine, you're being mean! I'm terrified, you can't expect me to just agree to this."

Blaine sighed as he continued to rub Kurt's back. "I know baby, you have a phobia and I'm very aware of that fact. I will help you, I'm not going to let you lay there and be terrified. This isn't going to be as hard as you think it will be."

"It will be," Kurt sniffled. "I'm not gonna do it."

"You will or I'm going to have to make you," Blaine countered.

"You can't make me," Kurt mumbled.

Blaine sighed. "I can honey. I really don't want to, but I will if you refuse. This is your health we're talking about here, and I can't take it lightly."

Kurt looked away and crossed his arms stubbornly. He was running out of arguments, so he resorted to playing the pity card. "You don't even love me. If you loved me you wouldn't make me do this."

Blaine had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. "I do love you Kurt, and you know that. If I didn't love you then I'd let you suffer and possibly lose your tooth. I love you and that's why I won't let you stay in pain. I won't let you hurt yourself like this anymore," Blaine said softly. "Tomorrow you're going to come with me to the office, and there won't be any of the waiting all day nonsense either. First thing in the morning, okay? That way you won't have time to work yourself up. Afterwards we can do whatever you want."

Kurt shook his head. "I'm not gonna do it. I'm not agreeing to this."

"Then don't. Though, it'll be really sad if you make me force you. I want this to be a good experience for you. Kurt, I can give you some nitrous and you won't be scared. I deal with scared patients everyday. I give them warm blankets or cold towels so they feel comfortable. It's just like a spa. My assistants are really awesome too. I could get one of them to hold your hand. Ashlyn is really sweet, I bet you'd like her," Blaine tried to comfort Kurt.

Kurt huffed. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"I could have Nick fix your tooth, you like Nick, right? Then I could hold your hand. Or you can bring Jeff. He's your best friend, maybe he'd make you feel better," Blaine suggested.

"Okay, you obviously don't know Jeff at all because he'd start hyperventilating and faint if he was in the room with me when you fixed my tooth. Having Nick fool around in my mouth doesn't seem like an option that's any better by the way. If anyone's gonna do it I want it to be you," Kurt admitted.

Blaine smirked at Kurt's confession. "So you'd let me do it?"

"No! I mean... maybe. You're not exactly giving me the option to say no here."

"That's true. So if you don't mind me asking, how bad is it? You admitted to me when you were drunk that you've been using some type of pain reliever? Did you run out or has it stopped working?" Blaine asked casually.

Kurt's chest tightened a little at the question. "It got worse," he admitted. "The medicine I've been taking stopped working."

Blaine nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks for telling me. I can give you something to help you sleep tonight if you want," he offered.

"That would actually be really nice," Kurt agreed. "It's been really hard to sleep."

"Okay, I'll give you something. On one condition," Blaine tempted.

Kurt cocked an uncertain brow. "What, Blaine?"

"Okay, so I think you need to desensitize yourself a little more. I think coming to my office helped a little, but I need you to step out of your comfort zone a little more. Once you see the things you're so scared of aren't scary then you'll feel a little better. That means you need to get comfortable with the idea of me being in your mouth. I know you hate that, but that's something that will happen if you ever want your face to stop hurting. So why don't we try a trust exercise?" Blaine preposed.

Kurt grew sheepish at the idea. Blaine pretty much hit the nail on the head there. That was something that made him really uncomfortable, even to think about. He briefly remembered Blaine doing something when he was drunk, but that incident planted a bad seed in his head.

"You already got to play around in my mouth, Blaine. You scratched at my sore tooth and hurt me. Well, not hurt really. Hurt isn't the right word, but it was scary. I don't want you to do that again," Kurt tried to explain.

"I won't do that again baby, I promise. I might check things a little, but I won't hurt you. The main goal here is to make you comfortable, and I won't do anything outside of your comfort zone," Blaine reassured.

Kurt let out a whine of protest and hid his face in Blaine's neck. "Nu-uh, Blaine."

"Uh-huh, Kurt," Blaine huffed. "That's not how this is supposed to go."

"Yes it is. I say no and you let me have my way because you love me," Kurt concluded.

"Mmmm... Yeah, I don't think so." Blaine switched up the position so he was sitting on top of Kurt. He pressed him down on the sofa and pinned Kurt's arms down with his knees. "If I let you have your way then you wouldn't have any teeth left," Blaine continued casually.

"BLAINE ANDERSON I SWEAR TO GOD," Kurt screeched. "Let me up right fucking now!" Kurt could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he glared at Blaine threateningly and tried to push him off.

"Oh stop," Blaine teased. "I think you might be enjoying this just a little."

Yes, Kurt's heart was pounding, but he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He was scared of what Blaine would do, but at the same time kind of curious. "Blaine, you're freaking me out," he settled on saying.

"That's the fun part," Blaine whispered seductively. He leaned over and gave Kurt a few pecks on the lips, begging to be granted access inside.

Kurt really tried to resist, but his boyfriend was an insanely good kisser. He could hardly resist the now natural instinct to give into the kiss. His mouth opened on the third peck and allowed Blaine's tongue inside his mouth. Some heated making out happened for a little while, and when it was over Blaine smirked to himself in satisfaction.

"Well you sure don't mind me in your mouth when it's my tongue," Blaine commented smoothly.

Kurt glared at Blaine from his spot underneath him, red and flustered from the make out session. "Are you really going to stop there?"

"Yep! That's all you get. No sex of any kind until you let me fix your face."

"Bullshit! You tease!" Kurt threw a pillow at Blaine's head, and Blaine proceeded to fall off the sofa. "You shouldn't start things you can't finish," he mumbled.

"Well you shouldn't be torturing yourself with face rot, but here we are," Blaine shot back from his spot on the floor.

"Oh, very professional terminology. Really doctor, bravo."

"Okay, tell you what. We can finish that if you let me try the trust exercise with you. Trust me for a few minutes and then you're free," Blaine offered.

"So basically you're bribing me with sex and drugs?"

"No, I'm bribing you with intense pleasure and a pain free night. Regardless, you're coming with me mister. You're gonna have to trust me for at least three minutes." Blaine got up from the floor and effortlessly scooped Kurt up off the sofa and carried him to their room.

"Blaine, you didn't even let me decide," Kurt squeaked. "I'm not sure about this."

"You're never going to be sure about this, Kurt. You're going to be terrified up until you give in and let yourself trust me. That's all you have to do. Don't think about it, just trust me." Blaine set Kurt down on their bed and grabbed some stuff from the bathroom.

Kurt sat up on the bed as he peered into the bathroom fearfully. "Blaine, what are you doing? I'm not letting you stick any of your medieval torture devices in my mouth!"

Blaine resisted the urge to be sassy because he wanted Kurt in a good mood. "Kurt, honey. You know I'm not going to hurt you. Just lay down and close your eyes for me, please? Relax."

Kurt begrudgingly laid down on the bed but he didn't close his eyes. "I can't relax because you want to stick scary tools in my mouth," he whined.

"Yes you can. The tools aren't scary and they won't hurt you. Besides, it's me. I know you trust me." Blaine walked in with a small sterile packet in hand.

"That's questionable," Kurt muttered. He looked to the packet fearfully and became more frantic. "Blaine, no. I don't like this."

"Baby, you can do this. I promise it's easier than you think." Blaine crawled onto the bed and set a pillow in his lap for Kurt's head to rest on. He gently pulled Kurt back so his head was resting on the pillow.

Kurt let out a fearful whimper and shook his head. "Blaine, no. I'm scared. I don't like this. Please don't make me." Tears started to fall from his eyes as he looked at Blaine in fear.

Blaine brushed away the fallen tears from Kurt's cheeks. "Shh, it's okay. I know that you're scared and that's okay. I'm going to help you realize there's nothing to be scared of. Can you try closing your eyes for me, baby? I promise I won't do anything without telling you first, I just want you to relax right now," Blaine coaxed gently. Kurt still looked unsure. "Kurt, look. It's me. No mask or gloves, it's all your Blaine. You're just sitting in my lap. I'm not messing with the tools at all."

Kurt nodded slowly and closed his eyes. "Blaine, what are you gonna do? Why do I need my eyes closed?"

"It will help you calm down. It's not that I don't want you to see what I'm doing, but more so if you let me do it then I don't want you to watch in fear. The tools look scary but I promise they don't hurt." Blaine rubbed Kurt's shoulders comfortingly. "I know you're scared, but I promise this will be good for you. You have a kind of bad and fuzzy memory from the other night, but now you're sober and you understand what's going on. Now I can help you understand why it's not scary," he said soothingly, playing with Kurt's hair and doing other things to help him feel more calm and relaxed.

"But it's scary to me. You can't take that away," Kurt argued.

"You're right, I can't," Blaine acknowledged. "I can't look you in the eyes and compel your fear away, but I do have a few human tricks up my sleeve. Positive reinforcement is a pretty powerful tool. You know, kind of like planting a good memory in a bad one's place? Hm... I'll probably take you off of sex probation if you're a good little boy and let me do this," Blaine tempted.

Kurt scrunched his eyebrows together, still with his eyes closed because he was trying to trust Blaine. "Blaine, this isn't sexy. This is something I'm seriously afraid of, you're not going to take that away with your weird fetishes or whatever."

Blaine mock gasped. "I take offense to that. This isn't some 'weird fetish' or something, this is me trying to make this less scary for you in different ways. I'm trying to be a good boyfriend. Besides, don't criticize my methods before you've even tried them. You know what? I think you're being mean to your boyfriend. You owe me this now," he pondered. Blaine usually wasn't this controlling, but at the moment he was channeling a different part of himself. He couldn't be his normal loving self, because that didn't work with Kurt's stubbornness. Ultimately Kurt would get his way and stay in pain forever if Blaine didn't step up and take some kind of control. That's what he was trying to do now, without being mean about it of course. He was going off on a limb, but a part of him suspected Kurt liked being told what to do in certain situations, and maybe he could use this to his advantage to get his stubborn minx of a boyfriend to obey.

Kurt's heartbeat quickened at the sternness in Blaine's voice. He usually got his way, and Blaine never told him what to do. This was different, and Kurt wasn't sure how he felt about it yet. He was kind of scared, but also fascinated. "Mmm, are you trying to tell me what to do? You know that doesn't work with me."

"Mmhmm... but I think it does. I think you like it," Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear teasingly. "I know there's a part of you that wants to obey your boyfriend and make him happy. Isn't there? Don't you want me to be proud of you, Kurt? Do this for me and I'll be really proud, I think you might even earn a reward," Blaine offered in a smooth voice.

Kurt was slightly flustered now. "Blaine, I don't know. I don't want you to be grossed out or anything," he protested weakly.

"Kurt, I promise you I won't be. I've seen way worse, and you're nowhere near that. You forget I've seen your mouth before anyway," Blaine assured. "I'm picking up my tools now, but I don't want you to panic. I'm not going to force open your mouth and shove them in there or anything." He pulled on gloves and picked up a mirror and explorer. "Anyway, I think it's time to do this. We've talked about it enough, I know you're ready Kurt. You just have to open your mouth for me and I'll look around and explain to you what's going on. It's nothing scary and I won't hurt you. It's time Kurt, open up."

Kurt opened his eyes at that and looked at Blaine fearfully, and then his eyes shot to the tools in Blaine's hands. "Nu-uh," Kurt refused with his mouth closed.

"Yes Kurt, you'll be okay. Close your eyes again and relax for me, please?" Blaine tried, but the gentle pushes never seemed to work with Kurt. He wouldn't close his eyes. "Kurt, listen to me. Shut your eyes like I told you," Blaine said sternly.

Kurt gave Blaine a last glance through his long lashes before closing his eyes back. Something about the sternness in Blaine's voice didn't give him the choice to say no.

"Good boy," Blaine praised with a self-satisfied smirk. "Now I want you to open your mouth. You're doing really great so far Kurt, let's keep doing that."

Kurt shook his head stubbornly, earning an annoyed huff from Blaine.

"Kurt, that isn't how this is supposed to work. You need to listen to me," Blaine said seriously. "We aren't arguing about this young man, you will obey me. Open up," he demanded in a stern voice once again.

Kurt shivered at Blaine's voice. He didn't know that his boyfriend had this dominance in him. So, against his natural instinct to protest, he opened his mouth minimally. It wasn't enough to see anything, and he earned another huff from his boyfriend.

Blaine didn't say anything, he just pressed down on Kurt's jaw a little so his mouth opened more. Kurt made a whine of protest. "You're okay Kurt, just relax. You're doing great, just don't close until I tell you to." He went in with the mirror and explorer, starting at number 2 like he usually did. "Okay, I know I'm right by your bad tooth, don't worry I won't touch it. However, there is a cavity right here. It's not that big, but it's here. I won't touch that either. Just keep breathing, you're doing fantastic baby."

Kurt could feel Blaine messing around in his mouth and he definitely didn't like it. Though, once he got away from the obviously not good area Kurt relaxed a little bit.

"You're doing great, see? I knew you could do this. You're okay. So what I want to do is check out the fillings you already have now. I know this is a part you don't like, but it won't last that long. I know you can do it." He looked at 19 and tapped on it a little. "Does that feel funny Kurt? I think this one needs to be replaced." Blaine removed the tools so Kurt could talk.

Kurt furrowed his brows in distress, he didn't like the feeling of Blaine tapping on his teeth. The tools felt cold and unnatural, he remembered why he hated this. "It felt weird. That one hurts when I eat hard things like nuts and gets kind of sore after. What's wrong with it?"

"Yeah, that makes sense. It's just a shitty old filling that needs to be replaced, it's not your fault. I figured it would have been bothering you. Whoever did this didn't do the best job," Blaine explained. "Okay, open again. You have a few more that I want to check. I'm proud of you for being honest so far. I know this makes you uncomfortable, I'm incredibly proud."

Surprisingly Kurt opened back up for Blaine. This wasn't as scary as he thought it would be. It was uncomfortable but he was able to tolerate it. Blaine tapped on some other teeth, but the rest were fine.

Blaine noticed the rest of the composite fillings didn't look that nice, but there was no reason to replace them right now if they were holding up okay. "Okay Kurt, you're all done. Thank you so much, I'm so proud of you. This was a huge step." He took the tools out of his mouth and let him sit up.

Kurt closed his mouth when Blaine was finished, feeling relieved. He actually did it. "Do I get my reward now?" Kurt asked smugly, sitting up.

"Hm... I don't know. You'll have to let me think about it," Blaine pretended to ponder as he cleaned up and threw away the disposable things he'd been using. "After all that arguing? Hm... You were so stubborn..."

Kurt rolled his eyes, pulling Blaine back onto the bed. This time he was the one on top, pinning Blaine down. "You still need to fix that problem from earlier," Kurt said innocently.

'Oh, you mean your face? Don't worry, we're fixing that tomorrow,' Blaine thought to himself, but opted not to say it out loud as to not ruin the moment. "You're right, I think I do."

 **A/N: Please don't hate me! I have the last part to this nearly finished. I swear it won't take as long as this chapter did. I just really wanted to post this because it's already been so long. The last chapter is coming soon.**

 **Also don't expect any smut because I don't do that. I did it once and it was a bad idea. I wrote something about swallowing potential children, not my best work.**

 **Anyway, please review because I love reading them :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Party Poison**

 **A/N: Man I'm not even gonna lie this is late because I binge watched Death Note and Grey's Anatomy.**

 **Also, fair warning that this chapter is going to be pretty angsty. There's a lot of personal negative feelings that went into making this chapter and I'm overdramatic as fuck, so expect a lot of Kurt making something out of nothing I guess. This chapter is pretty long as well and I'm not sure if I should say you're welcome or I'm sorry. I guess that's up for you guys to decide.**

* * *

Kurt and Blaine had a pretty nice night after that. Kurt got his reward, Blaine was satisfied with the progress Kurt made, and they both slept happily ever after. However, the next morning brought a battle that neither were prepared for.

"Kurt, we've been going at this for almost half an hour now. I'm losing my patience. You need to get out of bed. You have to try, honey. Please don't make me drag you out of bed," Blaine said with his arms crossed.

"No! Fuck you! I'm not doing this. You won't make me and I won't fucking do it! Leave me alone Blaine. Go to work or whatever the fuck, I don't care. Just go away!" Kurt shot back angrily.

It took a lot of self control not to get angry at Kurt's harsh words. He was a massive dick when he was scared. "I'm not leaving without you, Kurt. You are doing this. Get out of bed now."

"No."

Blaine rolled his eyes, growing frustrated with Kurt's defiance. He'd already tried the sweet and gentle approach, but naturally Kurt took advantage of that. He pulled back the covers and grabbed ahold of Kurt's ankles and pulled him out of bed.

Kurt let out an angry, "BLAINE!" as he was pulled out of bed. Blaine however seemed unfazed by Kurt's outburst as he expected them now. Kurt most definitely did not like being forced to do things, especially get his face fixed.

"Blaine let me go!" Kurt shouted again. "This is illegal. You can't make me do this against my will. You'll lose your license and you'll never be allowed to practice again. I'll call the cops!" he threatened uselessly.

"Oh Kurt, I might take your threat seriously if you could speak the name of my profession out loud," Blaine said calmly.

That seemed to get Kurt fired up more as he kicked his feet out angrily. "You're a dick! I'm never letting you anywhere near my face you asshole!"

Blaine again had to hold back what he actually wanted to say for Kurt's sake. Argument wouldn't get them anywhere. "Kurt, I understand that you're deeply afraid of what we're going to do today, but I assure you there's no reason to be. I'll get you super high and you'll sleep through it. What's the big deal?" Blaine tried to reason with Kurt, letting go of his legs so Kurt didn't kick him in the face.

"Because you wanna stick me with needles and drill holes in my teeth with tiny drills and it's not okay Blaine! That sounds insane! How would any sane person be okay with that?"

"Kurt honey, what sounds insane is letting yourself die because you're afraid of the dentist. You're at risk of infection, and that can literally kill you. Is this really worth dying over? I get it, you're scared and that's fine, but I'm offering you a fear-free experience. It will be painless and you'll probably fall asleep. Where is the sense in all this fight I'm getting from you? I'm trying to help you Kurt."

Kurt eased back into the bed he was currently refusing to get out of and stopped trying to kick Blaine. He sighed a frustrated sigh before speaking. "You don't get it Blaine. That's what it means to have a fucking phobia. That means I'm really afraid, so afraid that sometimes it seems like dying might actually be easier. I'm not saying that lightly, I mean that. It isn't logical and it doesn't make sense, but it feels real. Can you imagine being held over the side of a really tall building, okay? Imagine that. The person who's dangling you over the building says they're going to drop you if you make any kind of sound. Your heart is pounding in your chest and you're absolutely terrified. Right? Because that's what happens when someone holds you over a building. That's what it feels like when I have to sit in that chair and take whatever you're dishing. It's terrifying! You can't get it, I can't make you understand, Blaine; but it's fucking terrifying. Give me a damn break okay, I'm scared!" Kurt ranted, sitting back up again.

Blaine ran a hand through his hair. "Kurt, I don't understand it, you're right. I'm sympathetic of your phobia, and I'm trying to give you a break; I've given you every break I can. I'm sorry that you feel this way and I assure you that I'll make the experience as fear-free as I possibly can. I know that doesn't mean anything to you, but please consider that. You can use every simile that comes to your mind, and shower me in beautiful metaphors that describe how scared you are, but that won't change what needs to happen. You have to get your tooth fixed, your fear of the dentist doesn't change that."

"Please stop saying the word," Kurt muttered, his frustration melting into defeat. He wasn't going to win this argument.

"It's just a word Kurt, it can't hurt you. You're only making yourself more afraid by refusing to speak it. It's just a simple word. A combination of sounds that represent my profession. It isn't a bad word, and you shouldn't pretend that it is. Your boyfriend is a dentist. In fact, your boyfriend is a loving dentist that's really sweet and just wants to fix your tooth so it doesn't hurt anymore."

Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine's self proclaimed tenderness (A/N: this word makes me think of chicken tenders). "I'll admit that you have good intentions, but I'm still really fucking scared. I can't do this," he said weakly.

"Kurt, as soon as we get to my office you won't have to worry about that anymore. Nitrous is a magical creation that makes your fear go bye bye."

"I don't believe that," Kurt mumbled.

"Okay, then don't, but I need you to get out of bed now. I'm serious. I'm gonna go start getting ready, and if you aren't out of bed in the next 2 minutes I'm dragging you out of bed," Blaine said, giving Kurt a warning glare so he knew he was serious. Then he went into the bathroom to carry out his morning routine.

Kurt let out an angry huff as he got out of bed because he didn't have another choice. He went into the kitchen and noticed Blaine didn't make him coffee too. That was rude. Then he remembered he wasn't able to drink it anyway and got more annoyed. He went back into their bedroom and threw on some clothes. It was a pair of dark blue joggers with a black V-neck, and just some black and white high top converses to top it off. He was annoyed with how boring his outfit was, but he didn't feel up to dressing fancier.

Then Blaine walked out of the bathroom and looked pleased with Kurt's progress. "Oh Kurt, what a pleasant surprise to see you out of bed."

"Oh, bite me smart-ass. I've already planned out 5 different ways to kill you. Let's not make it 6."

"That's kinky Kurt, but if you're down I'm down," Blaine commented. "I mean the bitting thing, not the murder thing. Murder is illegal and not all that sexy if you ask me."

"Okay, now it's 6," Kurt yelled, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

Blaine waited patiently for Kurt to finish getting ready, but he was taking his sweet time getting out of the bathroom, and Blaine was getting impatient.

"Kurt, we need to go soon. Are you almost ready?"

"Noooo," Kurt said slowly.

"Kurt, what are you doing?" Blaine sighed.

"I don't wanna," he whined.

"Kurt, don't start this," he said, walking towards the bathroom door. He tried to open it, but Kurt locked the door. Blaine let out an angry huff. "Kurt, unlock the door right this second."

"No. I'm not coming out."

"Kurt baby, you have to. Come on, please honey. You need this done," Blaine tried.

"No Blaine. I don't wanna. It's gonna hurt," Kurt whined.

"It will not, Kurt. I'm going to numb you so you don't feel it. It will turn off the pain receptors in the area I'm working on."

"Then the needle will hurt. Needles always hurt."

"Not necessarily. I have topical numbing gel that will numb the area where I'm going to give you the injection. You hardly feel it." While Blaine was talking he was also picking the lock. Then he was able to open the door. Kurt's face blanched at the realization.

"Blaine, no please. I don't wanna do this!" Kurt cried. He was starting to tremble and shake his head frantically. "No, no, no, no, no! Blaine don't make me! It's gonna hurt!"

"Kurt, no it won't. I promise it won't. Don't work yourself up like this," Blaine soothed, wrapping Kurt into a hug.

Kurt fought against it. "Don't touch me! Don't put me through all of this and then pretend you care. You don't. If you cared you wouldn't make me do this," he yelled, crying angry tears and crossing his arms.

Blaine was so tired of arguing, and it was beyond exhausting having the same one over and over again. He understood Kurt was pretty much terrified, but this had to be done. So he gently be debunked all of Kurt's arguments and reassured him that everything was going to be okay. He had no idea how much time it actually took to get Kurt in the car, but after enough convincing he did. Though, it all seemed to melt away on the car ride to his office. It was a Saturday so he didn't have any other patients, but he did call in his favorite assistant. He was hoping she'd be able to help him out with Kurt. She was always the best with kids and phobic patients.

"Okay Kurt, I know you don't like the idea of trusting me with your mouth, more less anyone else, but I called someone in to help. She's a sweetheart and I promise you'll like her. Her name is Ashlyn and she's going to help hand me the stuff I need, she'll basically be my second set of hands," Blaine explained as they pulled up.

Kurt didn't say anything, just nodded his head a little; which told Blaine he wasn't doing so well.

Kurt could feel his heart beating violently in his chest and he felt extremely weak and dizzy from the anxiety pumping through his body. It was eating him alive right now. He was also trembling terribly and he felt like he was going to throw up. The anxiety was so overwhelming he couldn't think about anything but how absolutely terrified he felt in that moment. It was one of the most terrible feelings and he didn't think he'd ever felt this scared before.

Blaine parked the car and looked to Kurt sympathetically. He got out and walked over to the passenger side and helped Kurt out of the car.

"Blaine, I feel like I'm going to pass out," Kurt said weakly.

"The anxiety is just making you weak, baby. You aren't going to faint. Let's just get you inside so you can sit down and I can start you on the nitrous. That will make you feel better," Blaine explained, holding onto Kurt as he walked incase he did actually faint. Then he saw Ashlyn get out of her car and he smiled at her. "Hi Ashlyn, thank you so much for coming in to assist me. I know it's the weekend, it means so much that you did this. This is my boyfriend Kurt. He's a little bit nervous but it's nothing we can't help with, right?"

"Absolutely. It's no problem at all, Blaine. I love to help. It's nice to meet you Kurt. I know you probably aren't that happy to see me, but this will go by faster than you think." Ashlyn said with a kind smile. She was a short girl with shoulder length brown hair pulled back into a low ponytail and purple scrubs. She seemed pretty young, she couldn't have been any older than 25. She had a beautiful smile as well, but that was pretty much a given considering her line of work.

"It's nice to meet you too Ashlyn. Though, I wish it wasn't under these circumstances," Kurt tried to say politely. He was trying to be nice, but he also felt like he was going to vomit or kill Blaine, he hadn't decided yet. Either way, it was pretty safe to say his mind was a little preoccupied.

Ashlyn smiled sympathetically. "Awe, I understand. I got a filling replaced last year and I was a mess. It turned out perfectly fine though. Blaine is amazing at what he does."

Kurt chatted with her while Blaine unlocked the doors to the office and flipped on the lights.

"You've had fillings?" Kurt asked curiously.

Ashlyn laughed at the question. "Of course, being a dental assistant doesn't make me immune. Everyone had problems when they were younger. I only know a few people who've never had a cavity."

Kurt nodded at the information. "Interesting. Blaine, have you ever had a cavity?"

Blaine thought for a second. "Well, no. My parents were really good about regular visits to the dentist when I was little and I had really good hygiene habits, but in dental school I had Nick take out my upper wisdom teeth."

Kurt frowned. "You asshole. How can you never have had a cavity? That's not fair. Besides, what happened to your other wisdom teeth? Did you just magic them out or something?"

"Uhhh, last time I checked they're locked down in my jawbone and hopefully they'll stay there." Blaine gently pushed Kurt inside, happy that the talking was keeping him from panicking at the moment. "What about you Kurt? Where are your wisdom teeth? I didn't see them on the X-rays. Have you had them out?"

"No, I haven't. Where'd they go?"

"I guess that means you don't have them. Hm, lucky you. That means your body is more evolved than mine because it got rid of useless teeth you don't need," Blaine babbled. He walked Kurt back towards the room, and he felt Kurt tense up and start walking a little slower. "It's okay Kurt, don't freak out. Like I said, I just want you to come back here with me and sit down so I can start you on some happy gas, sound good?" Blaine spoke as he gently pushed Kurt towards the treatment room.

Kurt was less willing when he caught sight of the treatment room and looked around. He didn't like this at all. Being in here was making him feel sick. He clung to Blaine's arm and refused to let go or move, refusing to go into the room. "Blaine wait, I need a minute. I'm not ready yet. I can't go in there."

"Kurt, baby. It's just a room. We aren't doing anything yet. I'm just going to have you laid down a tiny bit and start you on the gas. It'll help you feel better," Blaine coaxed.

"I don't care Blaine, just give me a minute to gather myself. Unless you want me to throw up on you I need a minute. Okay?!" Kurt snapped.

Blaine took a second to remind himself that Kurt was only acting like an asshole because he was scared, and then thought of a solution. "Okay baby, I understand. I'll give you as much time as you need," Blaine said gently. He wrapped Kurt into a tight hug and started rubbing his back. Kurt instantly melted into the hug, and Blaine was pleased with that. His poor Kurt just wanted comfort. "It's okay Kurt, I'm here. I know this is scary but I promise I'm going to be here every step of the way. Everything is okay," he soothed.

They stood there in the hall for a few seconds before Blaine gently tapped Kurt on the shoulder. "Okay baby, you're okay now. Let's go into the room and I'll sit down with you, can you do that for me please?" Kurt nodded into Blaine's shoulder. "Okay Kurt, thank you." Blaine lead him into the room and sat Kurt on his lap in the chair. Kurt still had his face hid in Blaine's shoulder, and Blaine kept playing with Kurt's hair to make him feel better. Kurt reacted much better to slowly taking small steps. So that's how Blaine did it, he let Kurt sit there and relax on him for about 5 minutes, and when he felt that it was time he spoke up.

Kurt felt more relaxed once he was close to Blaine and was able to breathe in the soothing scent of his boyfriend. He felt so safe in Blaine's arms, they made all of his fears melt away like magic. He enjoyed the relaxing time while it lasted, but then Blaine spoke up and his stomach was back in knots.

"Baby I think it's time to get moving with this. Do you think I can start you on the nitrous now?" Blaine asked gently, getting out of the chair and leaving Kurt sitting there by himself.

"I want it to take away the fear, Blaine."

"Alright Kurt, then let's start you on the gas. It'll help, I promise." Blaine scooted the tank of NO2 over towards Kurt and put a new nose piece on it. "I'm leaning the chair back a little so the mask will stay on your nose," Blaine warned before setting the chair back and sitting the mask on Kurt's nose. "Adjust it so it feels comfortable on you, okay? Try to suck in a whole bunch of that stuff Kurt, it's like 50 bucks an hour. That's some expensive air stuff," Blaine joked, squeezing Kurt's shoulder a little.

Kurt fiddled uncomfortably with the mask on his nose, trying to get it to rest correctly. "This feels stupid," he muttered. Kurt laid there trying to breathe in as much gas as he could, silently hoping for it to take away the fear. He could feel the vanilla scented gas spreading from his throat to his chest, and through his entire body, creating a sensation of tingles everywhere.

"You look adorable Kurt," Blaine cooed.

"Well I feel stupid," Kurt complained again. He didn't like being here, it made him feel too vulnerable. He was at Blaine's mercy, and soon he was going to be completely exposed to them. It didn't feel right. He was going to have to lay there and take whatever they were going to do to him.

"Blaine, you'll stop if I ask you to, right? You won't keep drilling if it hurts?"

"Of course Kurt, I will not let you feel any pain. If you raise your hand I won't hesitate to stop, okay?"

Kurt nodded minimally as he continued to breathe in the gas.

"You'll be okay, you're in good hands my love. You're safe with me," Blaine soothed, rubbing Kurt's shoulders. "Can I get you anything? A blanket, a cold or warm rag?"

"No," Kurt mumbled. "I'm okay."

"Okay, well I'm going to get Ashlyn to go over the treatment plan with her. I'll be back in a few minutes," Blaine said, giving Kurt's shoulder another reassuring squeeze before walking back out.

After a while Kurt's thoughts became more foggy and harder to understand. It was hard to focus on more than one thing at a time. Kurt's thoughts wondered as Blaine came back in and went over the X-rays with Ashlyn. He tried to tune out the conversation because he didn't feel comfortable hearing people talk about his teeth. He didn't want to know about the gross details because then the shame would come back. He didn't want to think about how this would already be over if he'd done it years ago, he didn't want to think about how close he was to needing a root canal, and he certainly didn't want to think about how literal drills were going to be shoved into his teeth in a few minutes. He groggily pulled some earbuds out of his pocket and put them into his phone unsteadily. The gas was messing with his coordination he noted. He pressed shuffle on an upbeat playlist and shoved the earbuds into his ears so he wouldn't have to hear the stupid dental talk occurring a few feet away from him.

Kurt saw Blaine walk back over to him and he pulled out one earbud to see what he wanted. "Hey Kurt, is it okay if I look around again before we start to make sure everything's the same?"

"I doubt anything changed in the last 24 hours but okay," Kurt replied.

Blaine laughed lightly. "I just want to look with the better light baby, okay? No need to be sassy," he countered. He clipped a paper bib around Kurt before flipping on the light and adjusting the chair.

Kurt felt a little uncomfortable, even with the gas making his brain fuzzy, but nothing scary was happening yet so he was okay. He watched Blaine cover his face with a mask and put on loupes. He didn't like Blaine when he was like this, it didn't feel like his Blaine. "I don't like you like this," Kurt mumbled.

Blaine frowned from under his mask. "I know baby but it's still me." He picked up two different tools and held them under Kurt's chin. "Kurt can you open for me?"

Kurt opened and allowed Blaine to poke around his mouth again, only mildly annoyed with all of the tapping and scraping. Didn't Blaine already do this last night? It seemed unnecessary. Kurt laid there numbly as Blaine poked around at his teeth, watching in somewhat of a daze as the tools stuck out of his mouth. The gas must have been working somewhat because he wasn't scared at the moment. Blaine called out different things as Ashlyn typed them into the computer, and Kurt pieced together that Blaine was probably charting things or something. This went on for a few minutes before Blaine finally retracted the tools and Kurt closed his mouth.

"Okay Kurt, thank you. You're doing really good. Do you think you're ready to start now?" Blaine asked sweetly.

Ashlyn pulled up a chair and sat on the left side of Kurt, and he tightened his jaw unconsciously and his whole body tensed. He was starting to realize that the gas only dulled the fear that was still very much there.

"No Blaine, you're going to stick needles in my face now," Kurt whined.

"Kurt, you need to be numb. Unfortunately it's a necessary evil. This restoration I'm doing is way too deep to even consider doing without anesthetic," Blaine tried to reason with his stubborn boyfriend. He reached over and turned up the gas a little.

Kurt laid there indecisively for a few seconds, glancing between Blaine and Ashlyn and realizing he was starting to embarrass himself. Then his head started to feel more fuzzy so he just settled on asking a question. "Blaine, will it hurt?" Kurt questioned.

"It won't hurt, Kurt. I'm going to use some topical first so you don't feel it," Blaine explained. He accepted the two q-tips with topical lidocaine on them from Ashlyn and showed them to Kurt. "Can you open for me Kurt?"

Kurt realized that now he was basically giving Blaine permission to stick him with needles, but opened his mouth anyway and allowed Blaine to put the topical in the two different spots. One went in the top right side of his mouth and the other on the bottom left. The gel tasted bitter and disgusting.

Blaine let that sit for a few seconds and then took them out. Ashlyn handed him the syringe and Blaine kept it out of Kurt's line of sight as he prepped it. "Good job Kurt, can you open up for me again?"

Kurt laid there for a few seconds, scared and unsure. The gas could only help so much, he was still scared. He knew he didn't want to do this.

Ashlyn took Kurt's hand. "You can squeeze my hand, okay? It's just a tiny prick, I promise. I hate needles too, but these are the easiest kind to endure. You hardly feel them."

Kurt nodded minimally, now feeling embarrassed and wanting this to be over with. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth. He felt Blaine enter his mouth with the heavy syringe and tensed up a little in anticipation. Ashlyn squeezed his hand reassuringly. Then he felt it, and it sure as hell wasn't a tiny prick. It was a sharp pain that was closer to a stab. A distressed whimper-like sound escaped from the back of his throat as he opened his eyes in a panic.

"Kurt baby I know it doesn't feel nice but please shut your eyes. I'm almost done," Blaine said quickly.

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He could feel the medicine going in now and it stung. It tasted vial and it was damn painful. He took in a deep breath through his nose, begging the gas to do whatever magic Blaine claimed it would do and make the fear go away. It didn't. There was still a needle stuck in his mouth, and it still fucking hurt. His breaths were uneven now and he was pressing himself into the chair in a panic. It seemed to last forever, but in reality it couldn't have been more than 30 seconds. Finally Blaine took the needle out of Kurt's mouth.

Ashlyn and Blaine both felt terrible for Kurt but nothing they said was helping right now. Ashlyn squeezed his hand and Blaine tried to say comforting words but Kurt was still panicking. The instant it was over Ashlyn wasted no time on damage control.

"That was great, Kurt. You did so good. Here, let me rinse the rest out of your mouth, okay?" Kurt opened his mouth back up numbly and let Ashlyn rinse out the gross taste.

"Kurt that was so good. You only have to do it one more time and then the hard part is over," Blaine comforted.

It was only then that Kurt realized he had to do that again. The anxiety in his chest started to rise and he shook his head. "Blaine, I am not doing that again," Kurt protested seriously. "It hurt, Blaine."

"Kurt, we have to do this today. Then you're finished. I know you don't want to come back. Please let's just get this over with, just one more prick."

Kurt wanted to scream about how it wasn't a fucking prick, but Ashlyn was right there and he had enough self respect not to embarrass himself like that. He was still damn terrified but he opened his mouth back up again anyway and let Blaine do it again, if anything just so he didn't embarrass himself more than he already had. It hurt the second time too and this time tears escaped his eyes even though they were squeezed shut. The stupid gas that was supposed to be some kind of cure hardly helped as his fear still seemed to leak through. It finally ended and Blaine was praising him for the good job he did, but Kurt didn't care. He felt miserable and humiliated. His face was starting to feel puffy and gross and he couldn't rest it normally anymore.

"That was the worst part, Kurt. You did great. I'm really proud of you," Blaine continued to praise but at this point it was just starting to piss Kurt off. He was tired of all the bullshit praises, they were making him feel like a damn child.

"Blaine, I am a grown ass man. Stop talking to me like I'm your child!" Kurt snapped.

Blaine knew Kurt got angry when he was scared but he definitely wasn't expecting that one. Ashlyn left the room awkwardly and gave the two their privacy.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I was only trying to help you feel better," Blaine said simply.

This time Kurt just kept all of the angry comments to himself because he didn't have the energy to argue. "I'm drugged, Blaine. I don't have the coherence to even try to explain to you how terrible I feel right now. This is just really sucky, okay? The gas isn't helping, I'm still scared."

"It's helping you, Kurt. Just try to submit your mind to it. You have to relax if you want it to work."

"You don't think that I'm trying to relax, Blaine? I want to relax so badly but I'm terrified. I'm trying my best," Kurt said in a small voice. He was getting to the point where he just wanted Blaine. He was scared and he wanted comfort more than he wanted to argue. "I'm sorry that I'm being mean. Please just come hold my hand or something. I'm scared and I need you."

Blaine smiled a little. "I know, and I understand why you're being mean. Let's sit here for a little while and I'll rub your shoulders, okay?" Blaine sat there and helped Kurt relax by rubbing his shoulders and reassuring him over and over that he'd be okay. Kurt was visibly calming down more as Blaine rubbed his shoulders and soothed him.

After about 10 minutes Blaine spoke up. "Honey, does your face feel weird yet?"

Kurt nodded. "My tongue and lip feels funny," he mumbled.

"That's good. It seems the anesthetic worked quite effectively," Blaine commented. He scooted over and pulled his gloves back on. Then he flipped the light on and picked up the mirror and explorer. "Okay Kurt, can I check really quick? I'm going to mess with your tooth a little to make sure you're completely numb."

Kurt's mind was pretty scattered at this point, so instead of talking he just opened his mouth and let Blaine poke at his face again. He heard Blaine scratch at the tooth with the broken filling a few times, and he could faintly feel the pressure but it certainly didn't hurt like he expected it to. It was a very odd feeling. Though, it was good to know that the anesthetic was working because that would have hurt like hell otherwise.

"I suppose that means you can't feel it?" Blaine asked, taking the tools out of Kurt's mouth so he could reply.

Kurt shook his head. "I can feel it, but it doesn't hurt. Just kind of a faint pressure, is that normal?"

Blaine nodded in affirmation. "Yes honey, that's perfectly normal. I'll be right back, I'm going to go get Ashlyn so we can start." Then Blaine popped back out of the room to bring his assistant back.

Kurt felt okay for the most part. The nitrous definitely made it harder to feel scared, and consciously trying to relax helped a lot, Blaine was right about that. Perspective was a very powerful thing.

Blaine then walked back in with Ashlyn, who smiled warmly at Kurt who seemed to be doing much better now. The two sat back down and hovered over Kurt, the calmness now starting to slip away again at the realization that this was happening now. He hated them being so close in his personal space. It made him feel vulnerable and powerless, even more so when Blaine lowered the chair more to the point where Kurt was completely flat.

"Okay Kurt, I know you probably aren't going to like this too much but I'm going to prop your mouth open with this," Blaine explained, showing Kurt the mouth prop. "It's going to help you keep your mouth open incase you fall asleep, and that way I don't have to keep reminding you to hold your mouth open. I'm also going to put a rubber dam over your tooth to keep out bacteria and keep the area more clean. Do you have any questions? After this you won't really be able to speak."

"Blaine, those are the things people need when they get root canals. You said I didn't need that," Kurt argued. "You're not lying to me and doing a root canal, are you?" he fretted.

"Kurt baby, I promise I'm not doing a root canal. I just like using rubber dams. They make the composite last longer and help keep out bacteria more efficiently. Tell him Ashlyn, don't love using rubber dams?"

"It's true, he loves using them. They make the restoration last longer. It's a preference thing really, but it's not uncommon to use rubber dams for fillings. Some people just like using cotton rolls to isolate the tooth, others prefer rubber dams. I promise you Blaine isn't doing a root canal without telling you, even if you are his boyfriend it would be illegal to keep that information from you," Ashlyn supplied.

Kurt seemed satisfied enough with that answer. "Okay, I don't have anymore questions. I guess you can silence me now."

"Awe, Kurt. It's only for a little while, and then your face won't hurt anymore. You're gonna be okay. Raise your hand if you need me to stop at any point, okay?"

Kurt nodded in understanding, but hesitated to open his mouth. "Blaine, what if it hurts?"

"Kurt, it won't. I just checked, remember?"

"But this is gonna be different," Kurt argued.

"It isn't, and if you need me to stop you raise your hand. Remember? Now why don't you turn your music up all the way and let me start? Please Kurt," Blaine coaxed.

Kurt seemed to still be displeased with Blaine's reply. He didn't really expect him to say anything that helped, at this point Kurt just really didn't want to do this, but he didn't really have a choice either. He sighed. "Okay, sorry. Just start," he said, opening his mouth.

"Thank you Kurt," Blaine said sweetly, placing in the mouth prop.

Then Kurt felt Blaine putting the rubber dam around his tooth and couldn't help but feel stupid. It wasn't a nice feeling to be this out of control, and now he couldn't even close his mouth if he wanted to. Kurt turned his music up as loud as it would go and closed his eyes, trying to check out of the situation. He was still scared, but trying to stay awake and watch what Blaine did in terror wasn't going to help. Maybe if he was lucky he'd be able to fall asleep and when he woke up it would be over.

Blaine was pleased with Kurt's willingness, his boyfriend was stubborn but he still trusted him. Then he accepted the spoon excavator that Ashlyn handed him and started scraping out the now unhealthy tissue that had previously been hard but now grown soft. The restoration would have been much smaller if Kurt came in when it first happened, but now decay had eaten away at a lot of the surrounding tooth structure. When be was finished he handed the tool back to Ashlyn and accepted the hand piece. Then he started getting rid of all the rest of the unhealthy tooth.

Kurt wasn't as bothered by Blaine working as he thought he'd be at first. He could have almost convinced himself that his tooth was just getting sprayed with water because that's all it felt like. However, as it got deeper it got harder to deny exactly what Blaine was doing. There was more pressure and it was more uncomfortable. It definitely wasn't painful, but it still didn't feel nice and Kurt wasn't able to fall asleep like he hoped. In between songs he was able to hear the loud squeal of the drill and it wasn't nice, but he'd calm back down when the next song came on. Thankfully the gas was making him kind of dazed, so time seemed to pass by faster and if he tried hard enough he could almost forget what was going on. It wasn't that bad.

The restoration prep itself wasn't taking that long, but Blaine took his time to make sure he was saving as much healthy tooth structure as possible. Unfortunately this was a rather large filling due to all of the decay that accumulated in it over time, but it was fixable nevertheless. It took a little while, but he got all of the decay out of #3 and moved onto working on #2. Luckily that cavity was significantly smaller than he initially anticipated, and the restoration was very small. This was a small filling and it probably wouldn't ever need to be replaced with good hygiene.

After a little while Kurt got used to the odd sensation and was able to relax, now sure that it wasn't going to hurt. His jaw was growing kind of sore from his mouth being open like this but it wasn't that bad. He focused on the music that was blasting in his ears intently, and if he thought about the different sounds in the music hard enough he forgot what Blaine was doing. He listened to the different instruments playing in the music, about the lyrics, and about the meaning of the song. Anything really so he didn't think about what Blaine was doing. It worked pretty effectively, this wasn't bad.

Blaine handed the hand piece back to Ashlyn and accepted the next thing she handed him. He got to filling the two holes he made, taking his time to do quality work. He dried the composite filling material one layer at a time for the larger restoration, but for the smaller one it wasn't necessary. When he was finished it look very nice and he was pleased with himself. It would be hard to tell there was even a filling in either tooth. He took off the rubber dam and took the mouth prop out of Kurt's mouth. He pulled out one of the earbuds. "Hey baby, you did so good. We're almost finished with this side, I just need to check your bite. Can you bite down on this? Okay, good. Now grind a little... Alright. Looks good. Let me polish over it for you." Blaine polished over the fillings and then let Kurt close his mouth.

Kurt could easily tell when Blaine stopped drilling and started filling his tooth. That meant the hardest part was over, he was so close to being done with this. When Blaine asked him to he completed the small tasks to so make sure the filling was even or something, he wasn't sure. "So that means I'm almost done?" Kurt said happily when he could close his mouth.

"You are so close to being finished with this, honey. We just need to change out that other filling, but this is all easy stuff now," Blaine replied happily. "Just a little bit longer and then we're out of here, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt answered. "Let's finish this. Will you check again before you start though? Just to make sure? It's not that I don't trust you I just really don't want to feel it."

Blaine chuckled lightly. "Of course baby, let me check for you." Ashlyn handed him the explorer. "Open up for me Kurt."

Kurt did, expecting to feel the same lack of feeling as before, but this time he felt a faint pain. He could feel Blaine scratching at his tooth this time. It was a small pain and it certainly didn't hurt a lot, but it was there nevertheless and he didn't want to think about how that would feel if it wasn't just scratching.

Blaine saw the panic flicker in Kurt's eyes. "Are you feeling that a little bit? Don't worry honey, I can give you a little more anesthetic. Sometimes certain areas are harder to get completely numb, but it's not a problem to give you more."

Kurt nodded quickly. He didn't like needles obviously but that was the better alternative. He really didn't want to feel this. So he opened his mouth up when Blaine asked him to and got stuck with a needle again, only this time it didn't hurt as much because he was already kind of numb.

"Okay Kurt, you're good to go. Let's finish this, shall we? Open up for me."

Kurt opened a little and Blaine put in the stupid mouth prop again. Kurt was beginning to hate it. He didn't like not being able to close his mouth and quite frankly the thing was making his jaw start to hurt, but obviously he didn't say something because he couldn't. His mouth was stuck open. Kurt didn't have the energy to fight it, so he just put the earbuds back into his ears and tried to ignore what was happening. He could only hope that Blaine knew what he was doing. The anesthetic probably worked fast or something, there probably wasn't any point in waiting. So Kurt just let Blaine do it.

Blaine got right to work with replacing the filling, first cleaning out the old one. It made sense that this filling wasn't doing its job very well, quite frankly it didn't look that well done. "Geez, am I the only one who knows how to do quality work around here? This filling was done terribly. The work is lazy and sloppy. Probably the same guy who did the filling that broke. It baffles me that someone cared little enough to do work like this," Blaine commented to Ashlyn.

"I know, it's infuriating. You know, I can understand that some people are in this field solely for the money and stability, but it isn't that hard to send your patients home with quality work in their mouth. You don't have to be extremely passionate about something to do a good job," Ashlyn agreed as she suctioned.

Kurt was trying so hard to think about anything but what was happening right now, but it felt different this time and he physically couldn't ignore it. He wasn't sure if bottom teeth were just generally more sensitive or if he wasn't numbed properly, but this was really uncomfortable. It wasn't that it hurt, but the deeper Blaine drilled the more he could feel it and the more unnerving it was. It was freaking him out. The intense pressure never really crossed over into pain, but it was so unsettling. Kurt was trying so hard not to freak out, but this was really getting to him. His whole body was tense and his heart was racing, this really wasn't nice. He kept reminding himself that this was only temporary, chanting the word in his mind loudly over and over again until it didn't sound like a word. 'Temporary, temporary, temporary.' It wasn't working, this was scary even with the gas that was slightly dulling the panic so it didn't reach the stage of an anxiety attack. He sucked in deep breaths of the gas, wanting it to take away this terrible feeling so bad.

Kurt wasn't having much of a physical reaction to the overwhelming fear, it was more of an internal panic that only made his heart beat hard and fast and his body grow just slightly stiff. On the inside however it was a terrible all-consuming anxiety.

At one point Kurt could have sworn the uncomfortable pressure was starting to progress into a stinging sensation, but he couldn't have been sure if it was real or not. The anxiety could have been milking nothing into something, this had to have been his brain. It wasn't actually that bad, but damn perspective really was everything in the sense that Kurt's phobic perspective was making this feel like hell. It was utterly terrifying.

Then he started doing the most absolutely ridiculous and desperate thing he could think of. He started praying for some kind of relief from this terrible panicked feeling, praying for the very uncomfortable pressure not to get any worse, and praying for any kind of peace. In all honesty Kurt considered himself more of an agnostic, but if there was even the slightest chance that there was some upper power out there that gave a shit about him being scared during this stupid filling; despite all of the people dying from terrible illnesses and starving to death, then he wanted that relief, even if it was just enough to get through this.

Whether some unappreciated panda god gave him just enough self control to push through the last bit of this or he got through it because that was literally the only option, he wasn't sure, but it did stop eventually. At some point Blaine set down the loathed drill and he didn't pick it back up, and Kurt couldn't have been more relieved. He relaxed back into the chair and his heartbeat slowed back down. It was over. It was finally over.

After a few more minutes of laying there Blaine finished for good and Kurt shut his mouth for the last time that day. Ashlyn left and Kurt laid there for a few more minutes while oxygen flushed all of the nitrous out of his system and Blaine cleaned up. It wore off pretty quickly and Kurt came out of his slightly dazed state. He ran his tongue over the new fillings in fascination, they felt smooth like glass. The one on #3 felt the strangest because there was previously a huge chunk of tooth missing and now it felt whole again. It was kind of pathetic in a way because he'd forgotten what it felt like to have something there.

"They feel nice," Kurt commented. "Almost too smooth in contrast to the rest of the tooth."

"That will go away after a while, your tongue just isn't used to the filling yet," Blaine explained casually. "You know I'm really proud of you. I also know you're probably tired of hearing that but I'm going to keep telling you anyway. You did it. You don't have to worry about this anymore, it's over with. Kurt, even though you were terrified you did it and I'm so so so proud of you."

Kurt couldn't help but smile a little at the praise, this time it felt genuine. "Thank you," he said in a whisper. "Not to sound cocky or anything, but I'm pretty proud of myself too. That was hard and it freaked me out a lot at some points, but it's over now and I'm more than happy that it's behind me."

"You should be, baby. I know that wasn't easy for you," Blaine said, walking back over to Kurt and taking the mask off of his nose and sitting the chair up.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked.

"Yes honey?"

"My mouth tastes like tooth dust," Kurt complained seriously. "I think there's still chunks of shaved tooth in my mouth, this is really gross."

Blaine laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess that's the less glamorous side of things. There's disposable cups by the sink. You can rinse your mouth out."

Kurt got up and walked over to the sink a little unsteadily, and filled the small cup up with water and tried to swish with the water, but only now did he realize how numb his mouth actually was. The water didn't stay in because he couldn't press his lips together effectively with the whole not being able to feel them thing and water shot out of his mouth and all over the counter and the small container of paper towels sitting on it. He covered his mouth in shock and embarrassment and he wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. "Oh my god Blaine I'm so sorry I just spit water everywhere," Kurt apologized profusely and he tried to clean up the spill.

Blaine wasn't angry at all and he just ended up laughing. "Awe baby no don't apologize, you can't feel your face, it's alright. They're just paper towels, we have more. I need to sterilize the counter anyway, I promise it's not a big deal." He walked over and wrapped his poor numb boyfriend into a hug. "You look oddly adorable right now," he added. Then Blaine tried to kiss Kurt but he quickly turned his head away.

"Uh uh, my mouth still tastes gross hold on," he said quickly. He rinsed his mouth out again, this time holding his lips in place so water didn't shoot out of his mouth, and then allowed Blaine to give him a peck on the lips.

They got in the car a few minutes later and Blaine started driving home, but Kurt had another idea. "Blaine, I want ice cream."

"Okay Kurt, we'll get ice cream if you can manage to eat it with your numb face," Blaine chuckled. "Not to be a party pooper but you know you still need a cleaning, right? It's been a while."

Kurt grimaced. "I don't need it," he argued.

"You do need it. It's nothing compared to what you did today, you'll be fine. I'm scheduling your appointment for next week," Blaine said simply.

"Nu uh!" Kurt protested. "Next month. I did good today, I deserve a break."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Okay fine, I'll give you a break, but you're not allowed to put up a fight the day of if I agree to this. Got it?"

Kurt nodded. Then another question popped into his head. "Oh my god I didn't tell you that I don't want silver fillings. Please tell me you used the white kind Blaine, please."

Blaine furrowed his brows. "But the silver kind lasts a little longer than the white kind, Kurt. It's the better alternative."

Kurt inwardly swore. "Blaine I swear to god if you put ugly fillings in my mouth!" He quickly pulled down the visor and opened his mouth to look at the fillings in the mirror, and Blaine was laughing at him the entire time. When he saw they were all tooth colored he relaxed and lightly shoved his boyfriend in the arm. "Not funny Blaine."

"I thought it was pretty funny, you're so dramatic Kurt. Don't worry, your fillings are super pretty. You're welcome."

Kurt put the visor back up, rolling his eyes. "You're right though, they are really pretty."

"Hell yeah they are!"

* * *

 **A/N: what did you guys think? I think this is the last of this story but I could continue it if you all really want more. Maybe I could add a small bonus chapter of Kurt being overdramatic as fuck over a cleaning? Or maybe make Kurt need a root canal for that one tooth? That would be so mean, poor Kurtsie. Shall we leave Kurt alone? It's up to you guys.**

 **Also shout out to Sora for always being awesome and leaving super sweet reviews. Thank you! I really do appreciate it. You should make an account so we can PM.**

 **Thank you to everyone who's read/reviewed/followed/favorited this story, I appreciate it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Party Poison**

 **A/N: So I felt like writing more for this (if this update didn't already make that clear to you). The first part is basically Kurt being sad and miserable but it gets interesting I swear.**

 **Other A/N: I wrote the first part to this a really fucking long time ago. I started it possibly as early as November of 2015 (because it may or may not be inspired by real life but that's confidential... except I'm writing about it so I'm clearly not that great at keeping it a secret). I forgot it was even in my notes until something reminded me. I hope the two parts to this chapter flow together okay but as I stated above it does move on from emo Kurt. It picks up right after the last chapter while Kurt is recovering after the fillings and shit (because unfortunately that is a thing sometimes).**

 **Other other A/N: warning for possible factual inaccuracies about the treatments and shit. I'm doing my best alright I get all of my information from the internet. To cover my ass I'll also whip out my artistic license. Gotta keep this shit dramatic even though I do my best to keep it realistic.**

* * *

They went home after that and Kurt was extremely numb from under his eye all the way to his ear on the left side for about two hours, however the numbness on the right side only lasted for about an hour. He laid on the sofa with Blaine but now that the anesthetic wore off he was starting to realize that his tooth didn't exactly feel better. #3 was really sore and his cheek hurt a lot where the needle went in and there was a small knot in the area. He squirmed around uncomfortably and sat up and held his cheek pitifully. "Blaine it hurts," he mumbled. "It feels like someone took a jackhammer to my stupid tooth and my cheek hurts."

Blaine sat up. "I'm sorry baby. Your tooth will be a little sore. That was a really deep filling. It's healing. Basically your tooth is mad at you. The nerve is temporarily irritated but it will calm down during the next few days."

Kurt crossed his arms irritatedly. "Well it should be mad at you. Not me. I'm not the one who drilled at it," he huffed. "What about my cheek? Am I having an allergic reaction to the numbing medicine?"

"No no, you're not having an allergic reaction. I think your cheek just got bruised from the injection. It isn't common but it happens," Blaine said calmly.

"Of course I would be the unlucky bastard that gets a bruised cheek, even though it's an uncommon thing apparently, because the healing pain I'm already dealing with isn't enough shit. It hurts," Kurt ranted. "Blaine I need drugs. You drilled holes in my face and now it's sore."

Blaine got off of the sofa and retrieved some medicine for Kurt. "Here you can take this. It's basically strong ibuprofen. This should help."

Kurt quickly accepted the medicine and took some. It helped with the soreness but didn't do anything to help with his cheek for whatever reason. Over the next few days Kurt was fairly grumpy and miserable.

"Blaine it's not fair. You didn't tell me that my face was still going to hurt for DAYS afterwards. This was supposed to make it stop hurting and it just hurts more! I can't even eat because it hurts to open my mouth because of whatever the hell you did to my cheek, and have I mentioned the ugly yellow bruise on my face?" Kurt complained frustratedly. He crawled under the comforter and submerged himself into a blanket cocoon. "It wasn't supposed to be this hard. You lied to me Blaine. You lied about the laughing gas making all of my fear go away and you lied about the injection hurting. You know it hurt a lot. Right? Why didn't you tell me?"

Blaine crawled under the covers with Kurt and held him from behind. "I didn't tell you because you were already afraid baby and it would have been counterproductive. Some people have harder recoveries than others. It happens. I'm sorry that it's taking this much of a toll on you but I promise this will pass in a few days and you'll feel better."

Kurt eased into Blaine's touch and started crying. "It was so scary Blaine. I want to just forget but my brain keeps reminding me. It keeps getting replayed over and over in my mind reminding me of what it felt like and how uncomfortable it was. It wasn't even that bad but I just can't stop thinking about it," Kurt sobbed. "It wasn't supposed to be this hard. This was supposed to be easy and it was supposed to make me realize there's nothing to be afraid of but it wasn't. Now it's like I have a reason to be afraid; this is my reason. It fucking sucked and I still feel miserable."

"It wasn't as hard as you think it was. You're making it worse for yourself by thinking about it over and over," Blaine tried to reason.

"No Blaine it was that hard. It was scary and I'm always going to be terrified. This stupid fear is never going to go away."

"The memory will fade over time and your fear will get easier to deal with. I promise. I understand that it wasn't easy for you, and it's okay that it's taking some time to process it all," Blaine reasoned gently while rubbing circles on Kurt's back.

"I just didn't expect this. You know? I figured it would be the type of thing where I got super high and basically slept through the fillings, and after that I just kind of figured my tooth wouldn't hurt anymore. That's what you said, Blaine. You made me think it was going to be that easy but it wasn't."

"I know baby, and it's partially my fault for making you think that. You weren't mentally prepared for it to go like this, and I think that's one of the reasons you're taking this so hard," Blaine said softly.

"And because my face hurts a lot," Kurt added. "It's not even my tooth that hurts the most. It's kind of sore but the ibuprofen basically takes it away. My cheek hurts the most. It's all sore, and I can't open my mouth because that makes it hurt more, and I can't sleep on that side of my face. I can't even touch my cheek when I wash my face, and putting on makeup to cover this stupid bruise is out of the question because that would hurt a lot. This is stupid."

"I know baby. I'm sorry. It's no fun. Some people are just unlucky. There are people like you who are recovering from a filling for over a week, and then there are people who have their wisdom teeth out and feel fine the next day."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I think it's natural selection. Mother Nature is weening out the weak ones."

That one earned a laugh from Blaine. "You're not weak. It's not your fault that your body makes you hurt more than other people Kurt."

Kurt was so frustrated and in pain that he was seriously tempted to scream into a pillow for a good few seconds but he didn't want Blaine to think he was insane. "God. I'm getting hangey and or progressively losing my shit. I'm gonna go battle a cup of vanilla pudding. We'll see who wins." Kurt came back in with the cup of pudding a few moments later. He tried to eat it but he literally couldn't open his mouth wide enough to get the spoon in without it feeling painful. He was so frustrated and angry at this point. His stomach had been painfully empty all day. It was growling like a monster.

Blaine frowned as he watched Kurt try to eat. The pudding seemed to be winning if the pain written on Kurt's face was any indication. "You're going to hate me for this but I'd really like to take a quick look at the injection site. The level of pain you're in has me slightly concerned, and I'm sure that you're fine and your body is just being an ass and making this hard for you, but the doctor in me wants to be sure. I'll make you a smoothie as a peace offering afterwards and hopefully it will be easier for you."

"No way. I won't be able to open my mouth wide enough for you to see anything. Do you not remember my losing battle with the spoon 2 seconds ago?" Kurt fretted.

Blaine frowned but Kurt's concern was valid. He didn't want to ask him to do anything that would hurt a lot. "Are you sure you can't tolerate just a few seconds?"

"It would really hurt Blaine," Kurt insisted.

"Alright. I'll accept that. Come here and let me look at your cheek up close and then I'll make the smoothie."

Kurt pouted a little as he scooted over to Blaine and then turned to face him.

Blaine smiled a small sheepish smile at Kurt. It was a silent apology for his pain. Blaine lifted his finger to Kurt's face gently and put it under his chin. He turned Kurt's face so his right cheek was facing him and he looked over the vibrant yellow bruise. Blaine frowned. "My poor baby," he sympathized. "I've only ever seen this after wisdom teeth removal. You're a real trooper. Thank you for letting me do the thing but I'm really sorry that this bruise happened."

"Why did this happen?" Kurt pouted while looking Blaine in the eyes.

Blaine frowned harder, if that were possible, at the question. He brushed his thumb over Kurt's bottom lip gently and then gave him a soft peck on the lips. "This is a lame explanation but when you get an injection you tense up muscles you didn't even know you have so if you were really really tense, and I'm talking the muscles in your cheek too, that could have made it worse. The anesthetic would have had a tougher time penetrating through tissues and the needle itself might have caused additional trauma. So that means the injection hurt more than it would have with a patient with a relatively tolerable fear level and I guess it could be related to this bruise. In conclusion needles hurt and suck more if you're already afraid... therefore making you more afraid in the long run. Nature is a bitch."

Kurt flopped back onto the bed hopelessly. "I'll drink to that." He smirked to himself. "Actually... do we have anymore Sailor Jerry in there?"

"For one its 2pm and day drinking is trashy, and secondly you're sad and I'm not letting you drink because you'll just be a crying mess... more of a crying mess than you already are. I get that you probably just don't want to feel your face for a while but something about it just puts a bad taste in my mouth. Drinking shouldn't be used as a coping mechanism, and right now you'd be walking a really thin line. Even if it's just one time it's not a good habit to start. This isn't Grey's Anatomy where you can just pull out a bottle of liquor when shit goes wrong. That's how you become an alcoholic. You know?" Blaine lectured.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Okay mother. I won't then. I was just thinking... maybe 3 shots to take the edge off for a while."

"Alright. Later if you're feeling a little bit better and you promise me you won't get drunk. I'm gonna go make your smoothie now. I love you Kurt. I'm sorry if that lecture came off as me being an overbearing mother hen. I just care about you and I know how fast that type of shit can turn into an addiction."

Kurt smiled a little at Blaine's concern. "I love you too and it's endearing how much you care about me... but are you sure you just don't want me puking up whole noodles in your car again?" he chuckled.

"Okay bear with me being serious for a few more seconds. I just feel like this needed to be discussed at least once. You don't seem to ever start drinking because you're sad but I have noticed that once it turns into sad drinking you don't stop. That night you just kept drinking even though you were upset and asides from the puking it did worry me and I didn't like it," Blaine said seriously.

"Blaine... I'm sorry. I was drunk."

"But that's not an excuse. You should know when to cut yourself off. Drinking just amplifies what you're really feeling so somewhere in there you made the decision to keep drinking despite knowing you were upset. Drunk or not that decision was still you. Look I'm not trying to make you feel bad. This just needed to be addressed. I need you to be aware of how dangerous this could be under the right circumstances," Blaine finally finished.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at Blaine in response to the reprimand. "We can have a more serious conversation about this one day when I don't feel like I'm dying but I understand what you mean. I'll be more careful, and trust me I'll never be getting as drunk as I was that night ever again. It clearly didn't turn out well for me regardless because I spilled all of my dirty little secrets to you," Kurt pointed out. Wasn't that enough to have learned his lesson? Not to mention the hangover the next day. "Now go make my smoothie, kitchen monkey," he shooed.

Blaine smiled. "Okay okay I'm at your service. Strawberry banana is the way to go, yeah?"

All in all it took the bruise on Kurt's cheek roughly a week and a half to go away fully. Recovery sucked but he survived and would eventually get over it. However Blaine was back on his ass no less than 2 weeks later.

* * *

"No Blaine," Kurt whined with his arms crossed.

Blaine sighed. "Kurt you promised you wouldn't argue with me. It's literally just a cleaning. It will be so much easier than what you just went through."

Kurt frowned and sat on their bed. "I don't want it Blaine," he argued lamely.

"Kurt Hummel if you don't let me clean your teeth then you're going to get more cavities. I know you don't want to be stuck in the chair for another hour and a half with me drilling into your teeth; just let me clean them baby. Prevention is how you avoid that stuff."

That made Kurt cringe and he was getting more uncomfortable now. "I'm not going to get any more cavities Blaine!"

"It doesn't work like that. You will if you don't let me clean your teeth. Come on, I know you didn't like getting those fillings last time. It doesn't feel nice when I have to stick you with the needle and it's uncomfortable when I'm drilling," Blaine went on.

Now Kurt was getting pissed off. "I know how fucking uncomfortable it was Blaine!" he shouted. "It really hurt when you gave me the shots and at some points it stung when you were drilling, and it really wasn't pleasant. Okay?! I remember very vividly and I don't need you reminding me!"

Blaine's expression softened when he realized how freaked out Kurt was getting. He sat down on the bed next to him. "It didn't sting Kurt. You were fine and numb. Remember?"

Kurt shook his head. "No, I know what I remember," he said softly. "It kind of hurt but I wanted you to finish so badly that I didn't care. I could feel it when you went really deep, Blaine. It was so scary." Now he was starting to tear up at the memory.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. That happens sometimes but I promise you won't go through that again." He pulled Kurt into his lap and held him tightly.

That was when Kurt really broke down and started crying into Blaine's neck. "I can't go back Blaine," he cried.

Blaine rubbed his back soothingly. "I know you can baby. This appointment will be easy, alright? You don't need anymore fillings. That's why I really need you to do this for me so it can stay like that and I don't have to put you through the hard stuff again."

Kurt shook his head and sniffled. "But it's scary."

"I know but it won't get any easier if you go back to avoiding the dentist. You have to have courage, Kurt. You haven't given yourself any time for this to get easier."

"It's never going to be easy." Kurt cried a little more and snuggled into Blaine. "Can we lay down? I need cuddles," he said weakly.

"Of course honey. Come here." Blaine gently pulled Kurt into the bed and wrapped his arms around him allowing his boyfriend to cry and get it out of his system.

"Blaine, what if I don't have the courage to do it again? What if I can't?"

"You can. You did something way harder last time even though you were scared. You're more than capable of doing this. I believe in you Kurt."

Kurt cried for a little longer and soaked in the comfort. For some reason hearing Blaine say he believed in him triggered more crying because he didn't even believe in himself. He didn't understand how Blaine possibly could.

After a while the tears dried up and Kurt felt slightly better but he still didn't want to agree to the cleaning even though in retrospect he already did.

"Kurt baby we need to go. Let's get this over with," Blaine said gently.

"No Blaine," Kurt huffed.

"Yes Kurt." In similar fashion to last time Blaine pulled the covers off of Kurt and dragged him out of bed by his ankles.

"Blaaaaiinnnne, noooo!"

"Kurrrrttt, yessssss," Blaine said laughing. He slung Kurt over his shoulder and plopped him in the bathroom. "Now brush your teeth and get ready. We're leaving in half an hour."

Once Blaine put Kurt down he sat down on the toilet (while the seat was up of course) and crossed his arms. "I'm not gonna get ready and brush my teeth because then you'll make me come with you."

"Okay then we'll leave and you'll have dirty teeth. Look, I'm not a fan of coffee breath but if you don't want to brush your teeth and make me smell it then that's on you," Blaine said pointedly.

"You're such an ass," Kurt huffed but started getting ready. He clearly didn't have a choice. "Out you. I need some space. Now you've got me in a pissy mood." Kurt shooed Blaine out of the bathroom.

"Whenever I make you deal with teeth stuff it puts you in a bad mood Kurt," Blaine reminded but gave Kurt some space to get ready. He finished getting ready and Kurt walked out of the bathroom soon after to Blaine's pleasant surprise. "Fantastic. You're cooperating. I need to brush my teeth really quick and then we can leave."

"Uh huh. Blaine do you have your phone on you? I need to burrow it. I want to send some pictures to myself," Kurt said casually.

Blaine was pretty nonchalant when it came to letting Kurt do things on his phone. "Yeah. Here." He handed Kurt his phone and then went into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Kurt smirked to himself and put Blaine's phone in his pocket. The bathroom door couldn't be locked from the inside because Blaine flipped the knob around in anticipation of Kurt's childish behavior. So when Blaine walked into the bathroom Kurt quickly shut the door behind him and locked Blaine in.

Blaine's eyes widened in horror. "Oh my god Kurt open the door right this instant!" He never thought about the fact the bathroom door could be locked from the outside.

"Nope," Kurt said proudly. "I told you I didn't want to do this. You're just going to wait out the day in there."

Blaine swore under his breath and slumped against the door for a few seconds.

Kurt smirked in satisfaction and plopped onto their bed. He relished in the now stress free day.

It took Blaine roughly half a minute to remember how easy it was to remove the doorknob. He didn't have the key to unlock it but there was a nail file in the medicine cabinet. With that he removed the doorknob in less than a minute. So he brushed his teeth and then strolled out of the bathroom casually. "That's really the best you can do Kurt?" Blaine sighed. He stood over Kurt with a tired expression on his face.

"Oh shit," Kurt deadpanned.

"Oh shit is right. Now you get your ass up and come with me and stop this childish nonsense. I'm not going to hurt you. I would say you had no reason to attempt to lock me in a bathroom but your levels of extra don't surprise me anymore."

Kurt covered himself with the comforter and took to hiding under the blankets. "I'm not coming out. You're being mean."

"I thought you were already out, Kurt. You're with me after all. That's pretty gay." Blaine sighed when Kurt didn't laugh at his joke. Maybe he was being too harsh. "Kurt please. Sweetheart please come out and be good for me. This will be quick and easy. I'm sorry for scaring you earlier." He tried to pull the blanket off of Kurt. "Come out here and tell me what's scaring you. We can talk about it."

"Even if it doesn't hurt I know it's going to be uncomfortable at the very least. It's a situation I'm not exactly fond of Blaine and I don't want to do it," Kurt admitted. He came out from under the covers with some persuading from Blaine.

Blaine opened and closed his mouth because he didn't know what to say. Kurt was right and he couldn't lie to him and say it wasn't going to be uncomfortable because it would be. "Yes it's a little uncomfortable Kurt but it doesn't hurt. It's nothing that you can't handle."

"I have a phobia so it amplifies minor discomfort to feel terrifying. It's laying there trembling and lightheaded with my heart pounding."

"With that level of detail you could be a writer Kurt," Blaine sassed at him playfully.

Kurt's face hardened. "This isn't funny Blaine. You asked me, I fucking told you, and now you're being an asshole again. This isn't the time for smart ass comments. These are legitimate concerns dammit," he snapped.

"I was trying to lighten the situation. I'm not trying to be an ass. Sometimes with situations like this you just have to power through it for the sake of your health. I understand your fears but this isn't about your reasons for not doing this. It's about the reasons why you should and need to do this. Shall I start listing them off? For one your phobia will never get better if you don't make a conscious effort to better yourself," Blaine started.

Kurt was getting really frustrated at this point and he was sick of arguing so he finally gave up. "Fine Blaine. Let's go."

"Thank you. This is Getting Kurt Out of the Door 2. But you comply this time so the sequel is better than the original. So like The Dark Knight or Guardians of the Galaxy 2." Blaine was working on lightening the situation again.

"I agree with you with The Dark Knight because nothing can beat that movie but Guardians is up for debate. You could think the second one is better just because it's new and you've watched the first one a million times," Kurt chatted as they walked to the car.

"That's fair but I have one word for you. Baby Groot."

"That's two words."

"Shut up and get in the car you shit."

Kurt smirked to himself. The banter made him slightly less stressed about the situation. "I'm getting in the car. Do you want me to drive?"

Blaine snorted. "Is that really a question? You'll drive us off of a bridge with how desperate you are today."

"Hey. In my defense I was gonna drive us to go get Chinese. The bridge was plan B."

Blaine shook his head as he started the car. "That makes perfect sense."

The two talked a little bit on the way over and Kurt was relatively distracted. He even gave Blaine his phone back and shamefully admitted that keeping his phone from him was apart of his escape plan from earlier. Kurt was trying hard to let himself relax but the instant they pulled into the parking lot the calm feeling typically dissipated.

"Alright Kurt. Let's get this over with. We'll be in and out and then you're free for 6 months."

Kurt shook his head. "I know what that entails. I have to lay in that fucking chair with tools in my mouth that I can't see, and I'm going to feel sick the entire time– and it's going to hurt but I'll let you do it anyway because I'll want it to be over. I don't want to do this Blaine."

Blaine sighed. "Give me half an hour and that's it. You can time me the second you sit down in the chair. If you're brave and you power through it in a reasonable amount of time it won't take any longer than that," he tried to persuade.

"I've never done this sober, Blaine. I don't know if I can. What if I panic? Last time I was high and I still had a really hard time not panicking."

"I'll give you a 5 minute break to just sit in the chair and get used to it, and we can talk a little bit about what's bugging you. Just sitting here in the parking lot isn't accomplishing anything. Show me that you're willing to try," Blaine said as he opened up Kurt's door for him.

Kurt was shaking hard and he felt dizzy, however despite his anxiety he let Blaine pull him out of the car and wrap an arm around him. As he walked through the office he couldn't focus on anything. Right now his anxiety was manifesting in a way that almost made the situation feel unreal. Maybe it was a type of coping mechanism.

"You'll be okay my little macaroon. Let's sit down in here and talk," Blaine spoke as he pulled Kurt into the room.

Kurt was snapped back to reality when he realized they were already in the back office. Blaine had taken him back to one of the treatment rooms where the chair was facing a large window that led outside. It was overlooking some trees and a small garden. The outside view made the room feel less clinical and put Kurt at ease a little. "Did you remodel? I've never been in this room before." Kurt sat down in the chair warily.

"We've slowly been remodeling the entire office. Do you like it?" Blaine gleamed.

"I do. It feels homey. I don't like closed off tiny rooms. They make me feel trapped. This... I can get used to," Kurt trailed off. He looked around some more. The walls were a dark muted purple and they tired in nicely with the flooring. "This feels like a living room. You did good with the remodeling."

Blaine chuckled a little. "That was the goal. So did you want to talk about anything before we start? Do you have any questions for me?"

Kurt shook his head. He felt at peace for the time being. "Not yet."

"Okay." Blaine sat on his swivel stool and scooted over to the computer where he pulled up Kurt's file. Kurt avoided looking at it because it made him feel uncomfortable and guilty. "So I know you had a little trouble with the recovery process a few weeks ago but what's your pain level now? Has everything settled?" Blaine asked Kurt.

Kurt's face was pale but Blaine dismissed it as general fear given the situation. "Yes. The one was kind of sore after you did the thing but everything is fine now."

"Okay good. So that means the filling worked. That's good. I wasn't sure if it would because of how close it was to the nerve. Sometimes deep fillings like that don't work. Everyone's body reacts differently to treatments. I can't control that but I put some medicine in your tooth before I filled it to calm down the nerve. So I guess it did it's job," Blaine babbled clinically. He typed some things into the computer and then closed Kurt's file.

Kurt was looking straight ahead at the view outside to distract himself.

Blaine scooted back over to Kurt and clipped a paper bib over him once he finished washing his hands. "Are you okay my little trash panda?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at the name but he was feeling too out of it to be sassy. He nodded shallowly; it didn't look convincing in the slightest.

"Kurt honey do you want me to talk you through this or do you just want me to start?"

"Just never start."

"That one isn't an option I'm afraid. Honestly I'll warn you before I do anything but I think it would just be best for you to trust me. Just try to relax. I'm going to lean the chair back now," Blaine spoke softly.

Kurt whimpered when he felt the chair reclining. "Blaine I'm scared. I hate this." His view went from the pretty window to the ceiling. Suddenly it felt clinical again and the interior design of the room didn't matter. Blaine scooted under his head once the chair was parallel with the floor and Kurt heard him putting on gloves.

"Don't be scared. Remember you trust me and I'm not going to hurt you." The light made a soft click when Blaine turned it on and then adjusted it over Kurt's mouth.

Kurt turned his head away a little so Blaine couldn't see his mouth. "This is what I was talking about earlier. The light is shining over my mouth and I'm laying down completely flat and exposed. You're going to pick up tools and ask me to open my mouth next and I won't be able to see what you're doing."

Blaine tried to comfort Kurt by stroking his cheek but he had gloves on so Kurt flinched away. "Just close your eyes and try to relax. Don't worry about the light or the position you're laying in."

Kurt tried to shut his eyes and even moved his head back but the instant he heard Blaine pick up tools his eyes shot open again. "Uh uh. If you want me to relax you need to put down the tools and take off the gloves for a minute," Kurt said quickly.

Blaine looked at him skeptically but set the tools back down on the tray. He gave Kurt a few minutes to compose himself and even tried taking off the gloves and rubbing his shoulders, however to no avail. Kurt didn't relax at all. "Kurt baby, this isn't doing anything for you. The only way you're going to stop being afraid is to put this behind you. You've had a few minutes to relax and now it's time to start."

Kurt whined when Blaine put the gloves back on again. "Blaine I don't want you to scrape my teeth with evil metal tools."

"Stop it. You'll be fine. I'll be extra careful because I know you're skittish. Trust me Kurt. The anticipation is making this worse. Let me show you that it's not as scary as you think," Blaine pleaded. He put on the mask even though Kurt hated it.

Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes pleadingly when he heard him pick up the tools again. His heart was pounding hard. "Please Blaine."

"Please Blaine what? Kurt, you're going to be just fine. You're safe with me. If you raise your hand I'll stop. You know the drill."

"Don't say drill. Not in this setting," Kurt said weakly.

"There will be no such thing this time. I'm just cleaning your teeth super gently so your smile looks pretty and you feel good. Okay?" Blaine reminded.

"I don't feel good now," Kurt muttered.

"You'll feel fantastic once I finish this. Now open your mouth for me Kurt. That's the first step to being finished."

But Kurt wasn't budging and he wouldn't open his mouth.

"Kurt please. Open up," Blaine said sternly. He started tapping gently on Kurt's chin until his lips were parted.

Kurt looked horrified and he tried to close his lips back but Blaine held down his bottom lip slightly.

"Kurt please let me in. Just open your mouth the rest of the way. You're safe with me."

Kurt felt Blaine press down on his chin until his mouth was pretty much open. So Kurt relaxed his jaw finally and let Blaine in. He was scared and trembling but somewhere in there he trusted Blaine... to an extent. He watched closely as Blaine entered his mouth but only saw two metal ends sticking out.

"Thank you Kurt. Please close your eyes. I'm just scraping the stuff off of your teeth. It's fine. This won't hurt."

Kurt forced himself to close his eyes for the sake of his own sanity. Watching Blaine work made him feel squeamish and sick.

"See? All of that fuss and you're fine," Blaine said nonchalantly.

Kurt hated this feeling though. Feeling the scraping against his teeth was making him flinch and feel extremely lightheaded. The sound of Blaine working was making him make weird, uncomfortable faces.

Blaine laughed at him lightly. "Are you gonna make it?"

Kurt had his eyes shut tight and gave Blaine a thumbs up. But in some areas the scraping motion got more aggressive and after about the 3rd time Kurt was having trouble keeping it together. It didn't necessarily hurt but it sure as hell sounded like it should have. Kurt raised his hand and Blaine stopped.

"What's wrong Kurt? Am I hurting you?"

"Not necessarily but could you be more delicate?" Kurt pleaded. He opened his mouth again so Blaine could rinse it out.

"I'm being as delicate as I can. You're doing great. Now can we continue?"

Kurt sighed and opened his mouth again. The first time was the hardest. After a few times he didn't care anymore. Blaine talked to him while he worked and that helped distract him a little.

"You're doing just fine and you didn't even need drugs to get through it this time. You underestimate yourself Kurt. This is uncomfortable but you're powering through it and I'm proud of you. Maybe one day I can even get you to come in during normal business hours without having to drag your ass in here."

Kurt kept making weird faces and sometimes flinched a little but didn't say anything or raise his hand. The scaling seemed to take forever but Blaine finished eventually. The rest of the cleaning went on with minor fuss from Kurt until Blaine announced he was going to do a quick exam and then they could leave. Kurt's stubbornness returned with a vengeance.

"Wasn't I just here a few weeks ago? Nothing has changed. You don't need to do another exam," Kurt argued.

"There's a few things I want to look at. Please don't be stubborn. You've done really well today."

Kurt scowled at Blaine. "And what in the hell does that mean? A few things I want to look at my ass. You said I was good."

Blaine sighed. "I want to check on the fillings I did and talk about some problem areas."

"Problem areas?" Kurt panicked.

"No no not like that. I'm talking areas you need to pay closer attention to and things of that nature. I'm trying to help you help yourself. Do you get what I'm saying?" Blaine tried to explain.

"So this is where you scrutinize me and I get yelled at for not taking care of my face hole well enough? That's what you're saying," Kurt huffed.

"It's constructive criticism for the sake of your health Kurt. Why on earth would I yell at you? That's a technique dentists a million years ago thought helped but turns out educating people works a lot better than shaming them. We don't want people to feel bad about themselves because a lot of times that keeps them from getting help out of fear of embarrassment. I would never yell at you for doing your best Kurt. However locking me in the bathroom... that's another story. I'm allowed to be angry at you for that."

Kurt sniggered a little. "I need to up my game. The bathroom held you for a total of 3 minutes."

"It would have been shorter than that but I had to brush my teeth. Anyway now that we've established that I'm not going to get mad at you for anything can we please finish this?"

"I suppose. Just don't stab me," Kurt said before he opened his mouth.

"Pffttt what am I going to stab you with? I would have to walk out of here and get a scalpel and quite frankly that's way too much work just to harass you. The tool I have now would be an extremely inefficient weapon for the record." Blaine went in and started looking around and scraping at Kurt's teeth a little to check some things. "Alright so you need to pay more attention to the buccal surface of these upper molars here. That's the area that's facing your cheek. You can't just brush back and forth because that just irritates the gums and you're not cleaning the areas that you need to. You need to do delicate circles and pay attention to the gum line. You also need to floss up under the gum line in the areas I mentioned earlier where you had 4's because those can turn into issues if you aren't carful."

Even though Blaine wasn't scolding him this part still felt humiliating and his cheeks were turning pink. Kurt just nodded a little when Blaine asked if he understood.

"Why are you so red in the face Kurt?" Blaine teased.

"My face just does that sometimes. Fuck off. Now continue your oral health lesson before I get annoyed and decided to cut it short."

Blaine rolled his eyes at Kurt. "Open back up you shit." This time Blaine took a closer look at the tooth with the large filling on #3 that he did last time. "The filling looks nice. Damn I do pretty work. So like you said earlier the pain from the nerve settling is gone and it doesn't give you trouble anymore right?"

Kurt felt his heart pounding in his chest hard. "It's good. Like I told you," he said when Blaine took the tools out of his mouth.

"Are you sure there's nothing you want to tell me? You look nervous. If something's going on you can tell me," Blaine persisted.

"Of course I look nervous. I'm laying in a chair with you scrutinizing my teeth and it's making me really uncomfortable. It's fine. Are we done now?" Kurt didn't mean for his words to come out as harshly as they did.

Blaine frowned at Kurt's snappiness. "You're done. You know I'm just trying to make sure you're okay. I wasn't accusing you of lying or anything." He took the bib off of Kurt and sat the chair up.

"I'm sorry for being snappy. I love and appreciate you," Kurt said with a sheepish grin. But when Blaine wasn't looking his smile fell and his eyes drifted to the floor in thought.

Blaine threw away the disposable stuff and started cleaning up the room. "I love you too my little trash panda. I'm proud of you." He wrapped his arms around Kurt and kissed him on the cheek.

Kurt wiped the worried look off of his face when Blaine turned back around and hid it with a bitch face. "That again? For fucks sake. Trash panda is NOT a cute pet name."

"Then I'll call you Mary Poppins... y'all."

"Congratulations. You're single now."

"Fine. Fuck your own ass then."

"Actually... that could prove to be difficult so I think I'll keep you around."

* * *

 **A/N: Awww look who made it to the end of the chapter. Aren't you cute? Reading my entire chapter and shit. So anyway I'm sorry if the 'alcohol can be dangerous' lecture in the beginning of the story was distracting and didn't fit but I can't write a damn story called Party Poison without talking about that at least once. I don't want to look like I'm promoting getting blackout drunk like Kurt did in the beginning of the story.**

 **Anyway yes there will be another chapter. Obviously. This entire chapter was written in preparation for it so if it was kind of boring that's why. But I need to know I still have people that are following this story sooooo review and stuff because that makes me happy and write faster.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Party Poison**

 **A/N: Hey guys. So this chapter is kind of different and possibly isn't what you were expecting from me but it's what I wanted to write. I encourage you to go into this with an open mind. It gets kind of dark but eventually all will be resolved... eventually. It's going to get worse before it gets better.**

 **Writing is coming along slowly because I'm working through some issues but I'll be okay. Just don't expect me to be pumping out new chapters like crazy because right now even the things I love doing can be draining. Writing to an extent is great because I can use it as a coping mechanism sometimes. But it's not always effortless. Sometimes I have to think long and hard about how I'm going to make it interesting (especially since I've been writing about the same general things for years). Most of the time I take it as a challenge but that also means I can't just pull an idea out of my ass because there's a strong possibility it's already been done. That's why I'm branching out into other things. I'm still going to be writing about the things we all know and love but I'm upping the drama level and looking into the character's personal lives a bit more. If you like it that's cool. If you don't that's okay too. I have to write things that mean something to me to keep myself interested and I can't go into this with the 'what is going to impress the most people' mindset.**

 **General trigger warning for this chapter. I don't want to spoil anything but PM me if you need details. It's nothing too graphic but read at your own risk. I would hate for my writing to upset anyone.**

* * *

Kurt was patient with the recovery process and gave the filling more than enough time to heal. Blaine said it would take some time for the nerve in his tooth to settle so this was normal. His tooth still hurt because it was healing. This was fine.

However he became skeptical when he need to to start lying to Blaine out of fear that this wasn't normal. Maybe it was just taking a few extra weeks to heal. At his cleaning he only lied about his pain level because he didn't want Blaine to get concerned. His body was just taking longer to heal.

Denial was a pretty powerful tool so it worked for a few months. But when month 2 approached and it got to the point where he finally caved and had to buy a brand new bottle of Advil (that he kept hidden away from Blaine) he slowly started to fear that maybe this wasn't normal. When he started taking meds for it that meant it was real again and he was back where he started. Hiding his pain from Blaine and living off of pain relievers.

After 2 more months of taking meds and hoping that the pain went away and his tooth finally healed he knew for sure he was fucked. There was no way his tooth was still healing after 4 months. This wasn't a healing pain either. His tooth throbbed on and off throughout the day and it took 3 Advil to get it to subside for just a few hours. Something was wrong.

But he knew what the next step would be. Blaine had made it clear when he was trying to convince him to get the filling initially that he was a hair away from needing a root canal. That was the only way to fix this and there was no way in hell that was even an option. Especially considering how terribly difficult it was just getting through a deep filling and how much that fucked him up. So what else was he supposed to do? Right now his only option was hiding this from Blaine for as long as he could and Advil.

He was fine.

One day after work he was laying in bed sulking in how much pain he was in. Kurt just stared up at the ceiling defeatedly as his tooth throbbed. He was utterly miserable and exhausted. Being in near constant pain was draining.

Blaine walked into their bedroom after getting home from work and he seemed cheery as all hell. To be fair most people would be happy after getting home from work on a Friday afternoon but Kurt wasn't in the mood to go out and quite frankly he didn't have the energy to put on a show for Blaine right now and pretend he was okay.

"Why are you laying down Kurtsie? It's the weeeeeeekend. This is when our hard week's work is rewarded with the right to get shitfaced, and it's karaoke night at Scandals. I'm ready for some embarrassing drunk karaoke. I'm going to shower really quick and then get dressed. Care to join me?"

Kurt laid in bed unresponsive to Blaine's enthusiasm for the night. "I'm really tired Blaine. I think it's a takeout and Netflix kind of night."

"But Kuuuuuurt, drunk karaoke. You can even make fun of me on your Snapchat story. Caffeinate yourself while I shower, okay?"

Blaine's overexcitement made Kurt cringe in his current state of misery. "Blaine I really don't feel well. Take Nick and go without me."

Blaine frowned when his good mood wasn't returned. "What's wrong?"

"I told you I'm really tired, and I've had a killer headache all day. I just want to go to sleep."

'Headache' sparked Blaine's suspicions because in the past when Kurt said headache it really meant his tooth was hurting (as he learned during the period a while back when he was trying to convince Kurt to get his tooth fixed). But that wouldn't fit right now. Right? "Why do you think your head hurts?"

"I don't know Blaine ask my head. Maybe I'm dehydrated or something."

Blaine looked at Kurt skeptically. He was probably reading way too far into this. "It's just funny that you say that because when you used to say that your head hurt it actually meant your tooth hurt 98% of the time."

Usually it was too easy to play off Blaine's comments but Kurt was off of his game this afternoon because of the exhaustion and his face visibly blanched. "You know it's not that. I feel like shit though so can you not harass me with that nonsense right now?" Kurt said pugnaciously.

Blaine found it odd that his comments were making Kurt so snappy. "I was just saying it was funny. I'm not harassing you. It's behind us and we can joke about it now. Right?"

"For sure," Kurt bit out.

"That doesn't sound very convincing. Are you sure there's nothing you want to tell me?" Blaine had an accusing tone in his voice that made Kurt's stomach twinge with dread because getting caught was absolute worst case scenario. Blaine was suspicious now.

"As a matter of fact there is. I love you but you're getting on my nerves and my headache is starting to progress into a migraine. I feel nauseous and miserable. Go take your shower and let me sulk alone in the dark while I choke back my own vomit. Alright?"

Blaine wasn't totally convinced but he wasn't going to push the matter anymore. He was on the look out now though. Tonight's situation had officially made him suspicious again and now he was going to be watching Kurt more closely.

A few days later, it was midweek at this point, Kurt was working late and for once Blaine got home before him. After settling into some comfortable clothes Blaine decided to do a little snooping around. Let it be known that Blaine wasn't the type to snoop around but with Kurt's behavior lately he had a reason to. He wasn't really sure what he was looking for; anything to confirm his suspicions really.

But after searching for a while Blaine's sleuthing amounted to naught. His last resort was looking through every little bag and hiding place in the bathroom because that's when Kurt was alone and able to lock the door. It made the most sense. So Blaine rummaged through any hiding places he himself would have thought of. Kurt was truly a clever one because it took a while for Blaine to find something that sparked his interest.

Under the sink there was a blowdryer box that was now storing miscellaneous objects. Extra shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, soap, etc. Then strategically hidden in a makeup bag that was hidden under other makeup bags filled with nonsense that Kurt refused to throw out Blaine found a bottle of Advil. He smirked to himself in victory but then it fell because he really didn't want to be right about this.

The bottle was clearly almost halfway empty so Kurt had been taking the meds regularly. Then to further confirm his suspicions there was a tiny bottle of clove oil in the bag. There was no denying it now. Blaine sat down on the sofa in the living room and set the bottle of Advil and clove oil on the coffee table. Then he started mentally preparing himself for the argument that was ahead of him when Kurt got in.

"People make me wanna die. At this point a zombie apocalypse would be welcomed. I would probably die first but ya know that would be welcomed too. I had a REALLY long day," Kurt complained as he walked through the door.

"Then what I found in the bathroom probably isn't going to make it any better," Blaine commented.

Kurt's entire face fell when his eyes drifted to the coffee table and he saw exactly what Blaine was talking about. He tried to recover from the facial expression that was a dead giveaway. "Why were you under the sink? That's old stuff Blaine. I forgot it was under there."

Blaine looked at Kurt skeptically. This silently prompted him to elaborate.

"From last time when the thingy thing was still going on. It was my secret stash and apparently I hid it effectively enough to forget about it," Kurt explained smoothly but his forehead was sweating.

Blaine sighed at Kurt's less than convincing pantomime of innocence. "Last time? Indicating there was another time after that? You literally just admitted it Kurt."

Kurt cringed. "I didn't- did I say that? I meant a time in the past. That doesn't mean I'm saying it happened again."

"You're not going to say 'last time I broke my leg' if you only broke your leg once so your argument doesn't make sense. Come here and sit down next to me. I'm not mad but we need to talk about this."

But Kurt didn't sit down. He just stood frozen in his spot by the front door. There was no plan B because his only option was to keep this from Blaine and clearly that didn't work. What was he supposed to do? "That was stupid wording on my part. I didn't mean it like that," Kurt persisted. "I'm tired. I've had a long day. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm gonna go take a shower because I feel icky."

"Kurt– Kurt! Sit down and talk to me or I am going to be mad. There's no point in lying now because at this point I'm going to take you back to the office and take another X-ray of your tooth and do some tests to find out what's going on. You can lie all you want to but your body is going to tell me the real story and you can't hide that." Blaine kept a calm and leveled voice because despite knowing exactly how Kurt was he was trying to keep this from turning into an argument.

Kurt knew he was caught. "I'm sorry! Blaine what was I supposed to do though? It's not that bad. I'll be fine. I don't need your help."

"What you were supposed to have done is told me the truth one of the thousands of times I asked you about your pain level. There's no point in putting yourself through this unnecessary pain. I know what we have to do and it will be _fine_. I'll take care of you and then this will finally be behind us and you won't have to worry about it anymore," Blaine tried.

"No! I'm not letting you do a root canal on me. You told me it would work the first time; you told me the filling would work! You promised that would be the end of it!"

"Kurt, it hurts and you have to get it fixed. End of discussion. I'm sorry that the filling didn't work but that's not my fault." Blaine lost his compassion a little when Kurt started shouting.

"End of discussion my ass," Kurt snapped. "I can't get it fixed Blaine, I physically won't be able to sit through that. I know you mean that I need a root canal and I CAN'T."

"Kurt," Blaine sighed. "They aren't bad. I promise it won't hurt."

"Blaine! I've seen videos. I won't be able to do it. I was just barley able to get through that filling last time; it got more and more uncomfortable the deeper you went and I felt it. Maybe it didn't hurt but I FELT you drilling into my fucking tooth. I felt the vibration and the pressure and it was unsettling as hell. I almost panicked. I got through that just by the skin of my teeth. So when I tell you that I physically won't be able to sit through you shoving fucking files into the roots of my teeth I mean that Blaine. I can't. I'd rather die," Kurt said seriously.

Blaine shook his head. "Kurt don't say that. There's no need to be THAT dramatic about this. Don't say you'd rather die."

Something washed over Kurt in that moment and he just started sobbing. "Do you think that I'm kidding?" he cried desperately. "I mean it when I say that I would rather die than sit in that chair and feel the files in my teeth! This is a real phobia Blaine. You seem to forget that. I have real triggers that set me off, I have very real panic attacks over this shit, and I have nightmares. The memories of what you did literally haunted me. It took WEEKS for me to stop seeing you drilling into my fucking teeth every time I tried to fall asleep. Oh, and the air freshener in your car is the exact same vanilla scent as the nitrous and when I smelt it I literally had to fight back a panic attack because it reminded me of that day and I kept seeing the memories in flashes. It ruined my day. Something as simple as a damn vanilla air freshener. I know it's stupid and frustrating for you that I act like this but I have to LIVE with it. So no I'm not fucking being dramatic when I say that I would rather die than have a root canal because I mean it," Kurt sobbed with tears running down his face.

Blaine felt terrible in that moment and he wrapped Kurt in a hug. "I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry. We're going to figure this out." He pulled Kurt over to the sofa and they sat there while he tried to calm down. "I don't want to have you sedated... but maybe we can try IV sedation? That way you're not completely under. I mean it has its risks but I promise you'd be oblivious to what's going on. Will you at least think about it Kurt?"

Kurt sniffled and shook his head. "I don't want to be awake. I want to wake up and it be over. I don't want to feel you drilling into my tooth or smell the disgusting smell of my tooth burning away or be laid down helpless with the light in my face. Blaine I c-can't do it. I can't do it again." Kurt worked himself up again and he started to hyperventilate.

Blaine rubbed Kurt's back. "Kurt it'll be okay but I need you to breathe. Listen to my breaths, okay? Make yours match mine."

Kurt only shook his head hard and tried to push Blaine off of him. He didn't want to do any of these stupid ass breathing exercises. Blaine didn't understand. Nothing Kurt could say would make him understand. "I-it won't by o-okay because you're going to m-make me do it no matter what I say!" he shouted angrily. Kurt had his arms wrapped around himself as he sobbed hysterically in the middle of the living room. "I want to cut," he sobbed before he could stop himself.

Blaine's face fell. If the panic attack Kurt was currently having didn't get his attention that statement sure did. Blaine pressed himself off of the couch and wrapped his arms around Kurt even though he fought it at first. "I want you to talk to me about what you're feeling Kurt but I need you to calm down first."

Kurt slowly started to calm back down once he felt Blaine's arms around him but he was still crying. "It never goes away. People say that when you recover it goes away but it doesn't. Every time I'm sad or something goes wrong it's the first thing I think about. I-it's all I've been able to think about lately and I want it so badly. I've tried holding an ice cube until it melts or snapping a rubber band against my wrist until it's raw– and am I still really clean after doing that? It still leaves a mark and sure it doesn't scar but it's still something that I have to hide at work so people don't ask questions and if the mark isn't damn near purple and throbbing I feel like I haven't done enough, and when it heals I morbidly miss it being there. All of the things they tell you to do to recover is bullshit and it's all bullshit because self harm is self harm regardless of if you're using a blade or starving yourself until your stomach screams, and yeah fucking leaving bruises is just as bad so where does that leave me? I still don't feel like this is real or my pain is valid unless I can cut. Bruises aren't good enough. If I cut then I'll be able to see the blood and that means the pain that I'm feeling is real and I just want to do it so fucking badly, Blaine. I need it. It's the only thing I can control."

"Kurt you know that's not what you want. It doesn't help and the guilt would eat you alive; you'd be so disappointed in yourself. You've been clean for years. You don't want to throw that away. I don't like the rubber band thing but it still means you're making an effort not to do it and it's better than nothing. You're still clean."

"I don't care. I'd give it up if I could cut again. It's the only thing I have."

"You have me Kurt." Blaine reminded.

"You're why this is happening Blaine."

Hurt washed over Blaine's face and he just gaped. He was deemed speechless by what Kurt said. Blaine slowly unwrapped his arms from around Kurt.

Kurt regretted what he said the instant it left his lips. He didn't want to make Blaine feel bad; he just wanted him to understand. This was never about blaming someone else for his pain. "Blaine I didn't mean that."

"But you said it. It's my fault right? Me trying to help you makes you want to hurt yourself?"

Kurt knew damn well what he said but hearing Blaine say it out loud stung. "No. That's not true. I don't know why I said that. What you do puts me in a bad place but it's not you. You've never been the reason. I'm so sorry. I'm not trying to blame you Blaine. I just want you to understand the extent of what's going on with me. I don't want to hide anything and I want you to understand. That came out the wrong way. I need help; I need your help. I wasn't trying to make you feel like this is your fault. I appreciate you and love you and I'm so grateful that you haven't given up on me," Kurt struggled to explain.

Blaine wouldn't look at Kurt. He didn't know how to feel. "I need a minute. I just need to be by myself for a little while because that hurt me whether you meant it or not. I don't want you to hide things from me but you've got to understand why hearing you say that hurt me right? I know how hard this stuff is on you and seeing you scared hurts me but I've just been trying to do what's best for you. What am I supposed to do Kurt? I can't let you suffer but apparently when I try to help I just make shit worse. Fuck. Kurt I just don't fucking know."

Kurt started crying again. "I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. You need some space and I get it."

"But after what you just told me I don't want to leave you alone Kurt."

Kurt gaped at Blaine's statement. He didn't know how to react at first. "You have that little trust in me?" he said in a small voice.

"You literally just said you've been thinking about it so what else am I supposed to assume Kurt?"

"How about you assume that I have enough fucking self control to resist the urges? I told you because I trust you and I thought you'd have enough trust in me to understand that thinking about it doesn't mean I'm going to act and it sure as fuck doesn't mean you have to babysit me whenever we have an argument. I know you don't understand but it's hard not to get defensive when you accuse me of not being trusted to be alone because I told you I'm working through some issues."

"Alright Kurt." Blaine walked away.

Kurt huffed and walked into their bedroom and sat on their bed. He was frustrated and angry; he shouldn't regret telling his boyfriend anything. This was beyond humiliating because he made himself vulnerable and now he couldn't take it back. Blaine didn't deserve to know. He shouldn't have said anything.

Kurt huddled over in the bed and buried his face in his hands and completely broke down. He wanted to do it so badly and didn't that just prove Blaine right? He wouldn't admit it but he didn't want to be alone right now. It wasn't bad enough to where he was a danger to himself but the isolation felt suffocating.

Hell, he just wanted to shower to clear his head for a bit and relax but he knew better than to put himself in a situation where he would be around razors. Recovery was trial and error and he knew better than to have those items at his disposal.

Despite it all Kurt did logically want to stay clean; the urges were making life particularly hard right now but crying meant he was still clean and it was progress. Everyday was progress. The fact that he knew better than to go into the bathroom or to go into their home office where the pencil sharpeners were was progress. The pain he felt in his chest right now when the images of release pried their way into his thoughts was progress because he wasn't giving in.

Blinking back tears Kurt rolled up the sleeve of his sweater and looked over his left arm. How incredibly fucked it was that his own body was triggering. It only made him cry more. He wasn't sure if it was from the morbid longing of a time when the scars were fresh cuts or because he felt guilty for ever being so cruel to this body.

Deep down he was mostly filled with regret because it was beyond stupid to have ever done such a thing; to ever have given himself an addiction he'd still be struggling through many years later. Regret because the scars shouldn't have been on his body at all; more or less in a stupidly visible place where on hot summer days total strangers would be able to see the remanence of one of the worst days of his life. It was never for attention and nobody else was ever supposed to know; that's why he mostly cut on his hips and thighs but of course the second time he ever did it in a visible place the cuts scarred horribly to where they were thick and puffy and would never fade away. They weren't supposed to scar this bad and be causing him longterm pain and judgment for the rest of this life. It wasn't worth it.

For the longest time the scars were triggering and made forgetting about his past impossible but in that moment he found a valuable reminder in the ugly memories.

The very last time it happened, unlike what the still sick part of his brain was trying to convince him of, it was the exact opposite of a beautiful release. It was the worst pain he'd ever felt. He remembered thinking about how he was going to bleed out onto the bathroom floor and how his last moments were going to be spent panicking over who would be the poor bastard to find his lifeless body like this. There was the horrifying realization that he wouldn't be able to explain to his dad from beyond the grave that it was an accident and he didn't want to die. He would have just been a cold limp body; an empty shell of the person he was and the person he was supposed to be. There would have been no hope of his life ever getting better because once he was gone there were no second chances; dead people don't get second chances.

But Kurt didn't bleed to death on the bathroom floor that afternoon. He got the bleeding to stop, the scars healed, and he got better. It took hitting rock bottom to realize that he wasn't able to carry on like this and let this self destructive addiction kill him, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let one bad day ruin the years of progress he made.

In that moment he finally realized what lesson he was supposed to learn from the scars. They were a burden and they were ugly, Kurt never believed that what he did was okay or justifiable by any means, but they were a gruesome reminder of why he could never do it again. He cursed each and every part of his brain that made him think he wanted this. This wasn't his life anymore. No matter how terrible things got this was something he would never allow himself to go back to.

If Kurt was being perfectly honest with himself the whole near death experience recollection made the argument with Blaine seem trivial. Blaine said something stupid but so did Kurt; the difference was Kurt apologized instantly while Blaine still refused to admit that he did anything wrong.

It seemed time to resume their argument. Kurt went into the bathroom and washed his face and such and then met Blaine in the living room.

"We need to talk," Kurt said upfront.

"Yeah I guess we do," Blaine agreed. He seemed to have cooled down now and it looked like he'd been crying. Though unfortunate if he'd been crying that meant he still cared and Kurt found that a little comforting.

"I'm not apologizing anymore for what I said. I explained the slip up to you and now you know it was a misunderstanding. You know I'm sorry but I'm not going to keep saying it. So if you expect me to drop down to my knees and kiss your feet while begging for your forgiveness it's not happening," Kurt said pointedly as he sat down next to Blaine on the sofa.

"I didn't expect you to Kurt. I was wrong. You told me something in confidence and then I used it against you; it wasn't right and for that I'm sorry."

Kurt was impressed with the sincere apology. "I forgive you." A brief silence fell over the two before Kurt spoke again. "Do you forgive me for what I said?"

"Of course I do. I honestly don't think you meant it in that way; I interpreted it the wrong way and got defensive. It wasn't a personal attack, right?" Blaine asked.

"No. I would never blame any of that on you. That would be manipulative and fucked on many levels. I mean I know you're not going to ease up no matter what I tell you but I just wanted you to understand; it wasn't supposed to be manipulative or hurt you. You just make this situation out to be that I'm being stubborn and if I just trust you it will be all sunshine and rainbows but I'm genuinely terrified. I wouldn't put myself through this pain for months if I didn't have a legitimate phobia."

"I understand that Kurt. I'm trying to find a compromise here. If you'll have a conversation with me about this we'll find a way to get you through it. Are you willing to listen to what I have to say?" Blaine asked patiently.

"Okay," Kurt said slowly.

"There's a thing called IV sedation that puts you in a state of deep relaxation. It's not full sedation like what happens with wisdom teeth removal but it's not like the gas you had last time either. You would still be awake but you wouldn't be aware of what's going on and when you come out of it you won't remember most of it if anything. So there won't be the risks that come with putting you completely under but you'll be far less aware than you were with the gas," Blaine explained.

Kurt wasn't convinced. "These seem like empty promises to me. Honestly I don't believe you. You said with the gas I wouldn't care about what was going on but I was more than aware enough to be terrified."

Blaine sighed. "Kurt you won't know that until you try."

"Oh yeah and by that point it'll be too late to back out or tell you that it's not working and I'm still scared."

"But that won't happen and if it does we won't continue until you've got enough medicine in you to be fully relaxed. There will be an anesthesiologist there that's paying special attention to your vitals and heart rate and they'll know if you're afraid. You've got to have a little faith in me," Blaine begged.

"I don't know..." Kurt trailed.

"You've got 2 days to think about it Kurt. Do some research and look into it. Ask me questions. In 3 days from now I want an answer or I'm just going to make the decision for you and you'll have to deal with that. I'm not trying to make that sound like a bad thing because I do have your best interest in mind but I'm trying to give you back some control; I'm trying to give you the chance to be brave and say yes."

Kurt huffed and buried his face into his hands morosely. This was happening.

"There's one other thing we need to talk about Kurt."

Kurt grimaced. "Yes?"

"I want you to know that there's no shame in asking for help. If you're ever feeling upset and you don't want to be alone you can tell me and I won't ask questions. I'll sit with you until you feel better or distract you until you're not thinking about it anymore, and if you think you need help from someone who isn't me there's no shame in talking to a professional. Therapy seems to have a negative stigma like it's just for crazy people or something but it can be really helpful if you need it. I talked to someone in high school for a few years when I was depressed and still in the closet and she helped me come to terms with a lot of things." Blaine tried to gently help without upsetting Kurt.

"If it gets bad I'll ask for help."

"Don't let it get bad Kurt. Please. Get help before it gets bad."

"I won't let it get bad."

* * *

 **A/N: Well that was fucking hard to write. There's more coming so don't worry. I know this chapter had some more serious themes but I like how it turned out. I don't know if I'm going to stretch this out and make it more mental health oriented but let me know if you would be interested in reading that (but let's face it if I get a good idea I'm probably going to write it regardless of how well it's going to be received). If my readers take anything away from this I want you guys to know that there's no shame in asking for help and you don't need to wait until you're at your absolute worst to ask for it.**

 **Also review and love me you fucking assholes because I spent my Friday night writing when I could very well be drunk right now (jk I don't drink when I'm sad and I've been such an emo shit lately and that's probably why this chapter was so sad and probably also why I'm alone with my farting dog on a Friday night but you know that's life sometimes). (Seriously my dog's farts smell like mustard gas idk what she's been eating. Death itself I think. Jesus Christ.)**


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